I have two stories left to share to conclude the Refining Series.
I was especially touched by Debra’s story. She endured a toxic marriage for many years in hopes he would change. I believe God can restore any marriage if people are willing to change and partner with God. Unfortunately, there are toxic people who don’t want to change. Debra experienced years of pain in her marriage yet allowed God to refine her in the midst of her heartache. It is an honor to share Debra’s story today.
Ten years into my marriage of 22 years, I became aware of my husband’s sexual addiction, same-sex attraction, and acting out. Through it all, he had kept up an appearance of godliness while engaging in a pursuit of sinfulness. As a Christian, I know “God hates divorce”, so I would not give up hope of restoring our marriage. I continued to offer grace and forgiveness while facing each disappointment.
As years passed, I persevered through the lies and deception. I always wanted to believe my husband was getting the help he needed and making progress, desiring to heal the brokenness of our marriage. Each time I believed we were on the road to a restored marriage, I would discover more of his ongoing deception. We continually needed to start over, rebuilding from “ground zero”.
While attending counseling, small group sessions, marriage classes, and intensive weekend therapy sessions, my nightmare remained a well-kept secret from family and friends. Experiencing the hurt, pain, embarrassment, shame and betrayal of someone, who I thought loved me and loved God, was paralyzing. I remained isolated. Bearing it alone was a heavy burden, but I continued believing God would heal and restore the marriage, keeping our family intact.
My kids were unaware of the issues. They were ages 3 and 8 when things began. Feeling zombie-like from endless sleepless nights, I was determined to provide stability and wholeness for them. I worked to keep up the facade of being a happy mom, while on the inside experiencing anxiety and depression.Read More