About seven years ago, I was in my usual place of morning reflection and time with God, and I was reading a book on spiritual formation; the topic of longing came up. I sat in my chair, thinking about this word—longing. What does it mean? Why haven’t I given it any thought? A longing is a yearning desire. Its synonyms are pining, craving, thirst, itch, urge, need, and zeal.

Ruth Haley Barton wrote this in her book, Sacred Rhythms, “When was the last time you felt it—your own longing that is? Your longing for love, your longing for God, your longing to live your life as it is meant to be lived in God? When was the last time you felt a longing for healing and fundamental change groaning in you?”

As I sat with this thoughts, the tears poured out. I’d been too busy, too fragmented, too focused on the daily demands of a large family and ministering beside my husband in the church. I was exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I knew there was more to life. I longed for deeper connection with God, more impact on reaching others for Christ, and the desire to do something significant with my life.

As I sat there in God’s Presence, I recognized my longings were never given a place to grow. I pushed them aside, buried them, and suffocated them with my constant motion. Was it because deep inside I didn’t think they would happen? Had disappointment made me a little jaded? Was it easier not to address my longing? Had I learned to settle?