The August sun beat down as we unloaded our overpacked cars and schlepped box after box to the third floor of my daughter's dorm. The sidewalks buzzed with nervous freshmen and parents carrying lamps, mini-refrigerators, bedding, and everything else that somehow didn't fit into a single vehicle. Everyone was smiling, but beneath the excitement lingered something heavier.

Our youngest daughter, Keziah, couldn't have been happier. She carefully unpacked her favorite things while her dad wrestled the refrigerator up three flights of stairs and lofted her bed. We arranged fluffy throw pillows on her futon, tucked little plants onto the windowsill, and admired the cozy room she'd soon call home. A warm breeze drifted through the open window, and for a moment everything felt just right.

We grabbed Chick-fil-A, made one last Target run, and returned to her room for a final look around. We didn't want to hover or make the goodbye harder than it already was. She sat on her futon, looked around her room with a smile, and simply said, "I think I'm ready."

She was.

I wasn't.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” - Ecclesiastes 4:12

Our Daily Returning

Hubby and I gathered at our bright kitchen island as worship music played softly from the Alexa atop the fridge. He carried the stress and pressure of leading a church. I lugged the weight of being self-employed as a writer and life coach. Cooking together is a way to relax and unwind after a busy day.

He peeled the carrots and chopped the onions with precision, while I warmed the Dutch oven on the stove with a splash of olive oil. “How was your day?” he asked. “Good, I got a lot done at my desk, but my upper back is killing me,” I replied. With warm eyes, he met me at the stove and rubbed the tension away with his strong hands.  

He returned to chopping, deep in thought. “What are you thinking about, honey,” I asked. “I’m just processing a situation,” he said introspectively. I leave him to his thoughts because I know this is the best way for him to come to a solution. I eased over to him and wrapped myself around his tall frame and said, “I love you. You’re my favorite.” He smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

Cooking together feels like a lovely dance. He does all the chopping while I work my magic at the stove. We talk, process, and enjoy each other's company. This is our daily rhythm, the place where we find our way back to each other. The place we reconnect. 

Do you have a way to reconnect with your spouse?

In our midlife marriages we often feel distant from our mates. The cares of the world and the stress of children take a toll, and we have little left to support one another. We’ve been focused on our offspring for decades, leaving distance between us. This can cause us to feel disconnected.