You Are Loved by God, Part 2

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You Are Loved by God, Part 2

“I have loved you even as my Father has loved me. Remain in my love.”-John 15:9

We spend our days looking for signs of love.  Am I lovable? Do you love me? People confirm it, or we feel rejected by the perceived lack of love. There are two who love us unconditionally, forever. Jesus loves us because He is loved by His Father.  Our job is to find this love and remain in it all our days.

My First Love

My twin brother and I arrive unexpectedly six-weeks early. My young mom has no idea she’s having twins until they discover me after my brother is born.  At home, it is my older brother who is not yet one year old. We are all the same age for two weeks every July! My mom is 20 years old and has three babies and is thrilled about it. 

She’s a playful, “take charge” person. She works hard as a farmer’s wife. She tends the large garden, cooks homemade meals and treats, sews our clothing, hangs wallpaper and paints, keeps a tidy house, and serves in community groups.  She’s a bright light and the life of the party but she also works hard and is a strong disciplinarian. She has one of those, “you better listen to me when I’m talking” tones.

On snow days she lets us destroy the house with our toys, and we make fun food.  I spend my childhood as her sidekick in the kitchen. There is nothing she won’t tackle. I admire her ability to produce. She loves to play the piano or listen to record albums, as music fills our home. She’s ridiculous and funny and a great actress.  

 My mom is my comfort as I plop down on my bed,  sobbing tears of rejection. She sits with me, rubs my back and lets me cry.  We have the best heart-to-heart conversations. She holds me tight and tells me everything is going to be alright. Isn’t that what a girl needs most?  In the great big world where I perceive rejection, I have someone who tells me I’m lovely and I want to be loved. I never want to disappoint her. 

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New Year: New Identity, To Know Christ

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New Year: New Identity, To Know Christ

“I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to Him in His death.” -Philippians 3:10

In order for us to understand our identity in Christ, we need to know Him. The most powerful tool to use to know Christ is His Word.

An Awakening

It’s my first Mother’s Day on a perfect spring day, and I’m excited to open my present. Our first-born son is three weeks old, so I’m still healing from a c-section and deep into sleepless nights. We are in that newborn fog of parenting, each of us tries to make sense of our new roles. My hubby works long hours at the car dealership, needing to be the number one salesman each month, and I’m happy to be home with our newborn.

I excitedly open the gift and inside is a beautiful new Bible. It is pink with flowers and filled with lovely devotionals written by Godly women interspersed between the books of the Bible. I’m excited to dig in.

I’ve walked with God for four years, but something happens this spring as I open my new Bible and pour over its contents. I can’t wait for our newborn to nap so I can read the Word. I create a cozy spot on our front porch and sit in the sunshine and read. Tears pour down my cheeks and a longing in my soul is quenched as I read the Word. I know reading the Bible is important, but this is the first time in a long time I feel it’s life-giving power renew my weary soul. 

I’m hungry to know Christ, I want to understand God’s character. I want the Word to change me, to shape me into the person God has created me to be. I sense God’s nearness and His love for me overwhelms me. I never want to feel far from Him again.

Often we don’t understand our identity in Christ because we neglect our devotion to His Word. 

“Even among worship attendees less than half read the Bible daily. The only time most Americans hear from the Bible is when someone else is reading it.”-Lifeway Research

Our Bibles lay unopened and unread as we wonder why Christ seems so far off. We don’t experience our true identity in Christ because we don’t know our identity in Christ as it’s laid out in His Word.

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New Year: New Identity, Life In Christ

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New Year: New Identity, Life In Christ

“Living within you is the Christ who floods you with the expectation of glory. This mystery of Christ, embedded within us, becomes a heavenly treasure chest of hope filled with the riches of glory for his people, and God wants everyone to know it!” Colossians 1:27

As we begin this journey about identity, let’s look at how culture defines identity. Our culture tells us our worth stems from what we do, or who we are. Success, talent, money, a try-hard attitude, health, beauty, and the approval of others dictate our value. If we do all these things well, we are seen as valuable. If we lack these characteristics, we are seen as invaluable. 

When we are in Christ our identity flows from His goodness and is not dependent on us or others. He is the source of our identity. To understand what Christ has done for us, we need to start from when Christ first comes to dwell with us.

The Sweetest Surrender

The young pastor preaches passionately for a large group of wiggly teens in Calvin Klein jeans and Reeboks. This is the first time I’m exposed to the message of salvation in Christ. At church youth group, I feel out of place and different from everyone there. I sense God drawing me to Himself, but there is a wall of shame and brokenness I hide behind and not even God’s love can penetrate it. I’m not good enough or worthy to be near God. I feel like an outcast in this group of squeaky clean church kids. From the outside, I seem alright, but my home life is difficult with my stepfather’s alcoholism. If they only knew.

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Let Delight Motivate You to Meet With God

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Let Delight Motivate You to Meet With God

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”- Psalm 37:4

Have you ever thought about your motivation for meeting with God? Do you do it out of duty,  obligation, or is delight the reason to sit with Papa? The reason we chose to commune with God matters and when we operate out of delight, we will sense the Father’s love and in turn, feel closer to Him.

A Different Approach

This day I try something different during my morning devotions.  Instead of journaling my usual prayer requests and reading the Word, I chose to sit in God’s presence and sense His delight. It fills my heart with joy as I imagine my good Papa pleased with me. I revel in who He is and admire all the things I love about Him.  I praise Him for His goodness, faithfulness, love, peace, protection, provision, guidance, and wisdom.  

I meditate on all the beautiful qualities of His character and I rest in His love for me. In spite of my sin, bad habits, shortcomings, and failures, God delights in me and that truly makes me want to love and serve Him better. I’m amazed at the joy and peace that washes over my soul.  

This quiet morning, I don’t want anything from Him, except to be with Him. I sense His delight and my heart burst with anticipation.  I delight in Him and He delights in me. It’s the same feeling I have when I connect well with my husband or a close friend. It’s too wonderful to comprehend.

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List the Gifts To Feel Close to God

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List the Gifts To Feel Close to God

Even though we are past Thanksgiving season, I want to carry gratitude into the rest of my days because the practice of keeping a gratitude list holds the key to feel close to God. The discipline of writing down a list each day changed me.

My Gray World

I sit in the dim early morning hours frustrated, empty, prayers don’t come. God seems far away. I open the Word but nothing speaks to me. The world feels grey. Where is the joy? Am I bored? Where has my usual sunny disposition gone? I feel unsettled, so unlike myself. God seems far away and I’ve lost the wonder. What can I do? Something needs to change.

I remember the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  There had been a buzz about it in Christian circles, and I knew I needed to read it; maybe it held a key.  I devoured the book then invited a few friends over to watch the video series with me. Her words captured me. She’s an artist and poet and spoke vulnerably of the pain she experienced, and how God showed her Himself through the act of keeping a gratitude journal. The book and practice of gratitude would change me forever and bring me closer to God.

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.”-Sarah Ban Breathnach 

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Make Your Life A Prayer

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Make Your Life A Prayer

We’re continuing in our Building a Close Relationship with God Series talking about prayer. Is prayerlessness keeping you far from God? Perhaps you have a narrow view of prayer.  Let’s talk about how to have a continual conversation with God.

“Make your life a prayer.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 TPT

My View of Prayer

I had some rigid ideas about what prayer should look like when I first met the Lord over thirty years ago. I was more concerned about myself than I was about connecting to God. I wanted to do it right and say the right words. I wanted to seem spiritual. I wrongly assumed somehow if the words weren’t right,  God wouldn’t hear me.

As a Christian, I knew the right thing to do. I was to happily rise early and have a quiet time with God, reading my Bible, and praying for people. It felt like an assignment or obligation. I needed to check it off my “Good Christian Girl” checklist so I would be approved by God. I was quite proud of myself for doing it right.

Imagine the shame I’d feel when I missed a few days. Regret. Surely God was disappointed with me, so how could I possibly read my Bible again?  It’s funny how the devil hooks us with our performance. When we believe the lie our relationship with God depends on what we do, it’s a very slippery slope.  The truth that rescues us is to remember we love Him because He first loved us. He was pursuing us long before we met Him. Doesn’t that minimize the performance pressure?

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The Joy of Vulnerability With God

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The Joy of Vulnerability With God

“Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part [of my heart] You will make me know wisdom.”- Psalm 51:6 AMP

We are continuing in our Building a Close Relationship with God Series with the topic of vulnerability.  Do you struggle to be vulnerable with God? Does shame have the opposite effect and cause you to hide from Him?  It could be a reason you don’t feel close to Him.

I Messed Up Again

I blew it again. I wanted to be a patient, loving mom. I could be calm and gentle but if things escalated my inclination was to be bossy and brash. I demanded obedience, and my kid’s disrespect was hard to handle.  I especially felt like a failure with my son Caleb. He was an active boy with a strong will who wanted to call the shots. I felt exasperated most of the time. One frustrating morning, Holy Spirit gently asked, “why are you so angry with Caleb?”  I was shocked at first. But Holy Spirit was right, I was frustrated and I’d respond in anger, which was just escalating every interaction with my wild boy. 

I was filled with shame and regret each time I responded harshly to him.  This mothering was the one thing I was called to do and I felt like I failed every day.  I wanted to hide from God. I was humiliated and embarrassed by my behavior. After all, my kids were just little humans who deserved grace, patience, and gentle training. 

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