Refining Series: Our View of God
/“Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”-Job 2:10b
The Refinement of Loss
We were married four years and our son was two when I took the next positive pregnancy test. I was elated and raced to the clinic to have the blood test confirm the pregnancy, and it did. Baby #2 was on the way and I was especially thrilled because two of my closest friends had just announced their pregnancies. It was a girlfriend's dream come true!
Just hours later I started to bleed. I frantically called my doctor and he recommended bed rest for the weekend. I sobbed and worried as my little toddler seemed confused by my sudden bed rest and my husband looked equally bewildered. We felt utterly helpless.
I willed myself to stay still, thinking perhaps if I didn’t move, the bleeding would stop. I prayed, I begged, and I pleaded with God. I asked for a miracle but the bleeding never stopped. I returned to the clinic on Monday to check the levels in my blood and later in the afternoon, the Dr. confirmed my greatest fear. Our baby was gone. As quickly as it came, it was gone. The experience left me crushed, broken and bewildered. I assumed God would rescue me, yet He didn’t.
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