Christ Accepts Me As His Friend

/ Pamela Henkelman Coaching/
Christ Accepts Me As His Friend

“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I have told you everything the Father told me.”- John 15:15

The Bond of Friendship

Rebekah is sprawled out on the couch after the 7-hour drive home. Keziah bursts through the front door and plops down next to Rebekah. They’re all arms and legs as they embrace on the couch the way sisters do. They cling to each other because of their closeness. Each is dealing with her own burden of loss. They know in each other, their tender hearts are safe.

Keziah’s a freshman in college forced to move home because of the coronavirus. She leaves all her friends and Chi Alpha community, along with her boyfriend. She’s come home to a town she barely knows since we moved here last June. Her high school friends are in another state.

Rebekah plans a visit home for her last college spring break. She’s filled with disappointment and frustration after all her college activities are canceled along with her college commencement. She’s the Executive Director of an organization that plans most of the activities on campus. She grieves the loss of events and relationships. Tears fall as they talk about their troubles.

They are more than sisters, they are friends.

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In Christ, You are A Part

/ Pamela Henkelman Blogger /Life Coach/
In Christ, You are A Part

“All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.” -1 Corinthians 12:27

I Want to Belong

I survey the room looking for a warm face. Even though I’m outgoing and friendly, I hate that feeling when I enter a room and know no one. Or worse yet, I know them, but not well. If I know they’re a close-knit bunch I wonder if they’ll make room for one more. I feel self-conscious, too tall, too loud. It makes me want to shrink. I’m the girl on the outside waiting to be invited in.

I take a brave step forward and say “hi.” Win them with a big smile, I think. One person acknowledges me, but the rest carry on with their conversation. I feel awkward. Maybe I picked the wrong circle? Maybe it doesn’t have to do with me at all. My inclination is to talk fast and try to get someone involved in the conversation, so I don’t feel so stupid. I’ll offer a warm smile and hope for the best, but sometimes people don’t respond. Then I feel stupid and wish I hadn’t tried. Sometimes I wonder, what’s the point? Being a part is a risky business.

So the trick is to anticipate which group will invite me in. Which circle will include me? You know how women are. We’re not always the best at that, especially when we know each other well. We’re close, so we share our inside jokes and common interests. We can unknowingly give off the vibe of “you’re not one of us, and we don’t desire to expand our reach.” Perhaps that’s the voice of my inner critic keeping me from connection? It’s hard to tell some days. Either way, I tread lightly because I felt the sting of rejection.

Girls and women have been playing this game for years. The dance shows up in Girl Scouts, College Sororities, Mom Playgroups, Card Clubs, Coffee Clutches and Bible Studies. We want to be part of something great without fear of rejection.

You Can Be A Part

We have a need to belong and Christ invites us to be a part of His family, He calls His family the Body of Christ where He is the head and we are the parts. Each part is valuable and important. Some parts are open and visible while other parts are hidden, but not one part will be overlooked by Him.

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I Am Enough Because Christ Completes Me

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I Am Enough Because Christ Completes Me

“So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.”-Colossians 2:10

Am I enough? The question looms in my mind at a young age. I relentlessly try to prove I am. I want to be found complete, but I often come up short. It would be years before I understood completeness is not dependent on me but comes from what Christ has done for me.

Not Enough

Junior high gym class is the worst. I’m a thin girl with long limbs who appears athletic, but it’s all an illusion. The middle-aged gym teacher selects the two fastest, most athletic kids as captains. “It figures,” I think, as I roll my eyes in disgust. Is it their popularity or their physical strength that enables them to toy with our psyches? I’m not sure how it works, but it doesn’t matter because when the scales are read, I’ll be on the “not enough” side. I won't be chosen first.

I’ll never be enough.

Not fast enough

Not strong enough

Not popular enough

One by one the captains choose kids for their teams. Of course, all the jocks are selected first and then there’s the rest of us misfits. Should I look at the ground? Should I flash my charming smile in hopes my bubbly personality will win them over, and they will call my name? What's a girl to do?

I know what the pecking order means. Those chosen first are the brightest, most wonderful. Those who are left last are less than, deficient. Nobody wants us. You might as well print REJECT on our foreheads.

I wiggle and squirm in the uncomfortableness of the situation hoping and praying I’m not the last one standing. I have compassion for the few not yet chosen. I've always felt that way about the underdog. I hold my breath, and I want the moment to pass. Relief floods my soul as my name is called, and I’m welcomed to the team. For a moment, the sting of rejection is gone as I saunter to the field ready to play.

The phrase I am enough is heralded as the epitome of confidence in our culture. We desperately try to prove it with more hard work, more hustle, or more perfection, but inside we feel incomplete. We post our perfectly curated Instagram moments, yet when the camera is put aside, we feel hollow, lacking, and insignificant.

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I Am Accepted By God As His Child

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I Am Accepted By God As His Child

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” -John 1:12

Many of us carry the scars of rejection and at our deepest core, we long to be accepted. We scan the horizon looking for proof of our acceptance only to feel rejected again. Jesus provides the way for acceptance as we become children of God.

I Am Accepted By God

The Christmas Eve program rehearsals are well underway in our tiny church. The church ladies demand respect and hard work. We rehearse the songs and study our lines well. This is no amateur show. These ladies’ reputations are on the line, and they don’t want any kids to make them look like they’re unprepared for this holiest evening.

Christmas Eve brings everyone to church even those who aren’t faithful the rest of the year. Everyone comes in their new Christmas attire and the kids gather in the basement classrooms while parents and guests are seated in the sanctuary.

The kids wait in their tiny rooms with their teachers. There is lots of excited, wiggly energy. A shy child who doesn’t want to perform clings anxiously to her mother. The Momma peels her distraught child off her leg and races upstairs in the hope the child will calm down. A flustered teacher is left to deal with the fallout of tears.

I have a special role this year. I get to play Mary, the mother of Jesus. I’m a little kindergartener, with a pixie haircut, wrapped in a white tunic with a rope belt tied around my tiny waist. The blue satin headpiece is a thing of my dreams. It’s a long rectangle piece of fabric that sits on my head and falls over my shoulders. I have to be careful when I move.

I feel pure, innocent and deeply accepted. Why would God allow me to have such an important role? I’m nobody. I sing my solo with confidence and am overwhelmed at the delight and the sense of Papa’s love for me.

It’s the very first time I sense God’s acceptance of me, and I’m overcome with joy and peace. It would be another fifteen years and a lot of heartaches before I understand I’m a child of God.

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Love As God Loves

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Love As God Loves

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”-John 15:12

Not So Loving

It was a regular day at the church office. I’m tucked behind the desk in the front. My husband, Bob, the lead pastor has the office in the back and Adam, our worship leader has the middle office. It’s a small space, and you can often overhear conversations.

Bob is at my desk with me, and we are quietly arguing about something. We approach life very differently, but sometimes I believe my way is the best way and vise versa. He wants to be right and so did I. Conflict arises when neither of us refuses to budge. You might say we’re both a little stubborn. It’s become a pattern in our marriage, one that I’m not proud of.

Adam walks by and casually says, “Wow, you guys, do you have to bicker so much?” It wasn’t cruel, or judgmental, just accurate. The statement stops me in my tracks.

Thud! My heart sank.

His statement is like a punch to the gut, and the first time I realize my communication with my husband is unprofessional and unhealthy. Our kids notice it as do our coworkers. The desire to defend myself rises, but I remain quiet and think, “he’s right.” I feel embarrassed and convicted to make some changes.

Most couples like to pretend in front of others, keep the squabbles behind closed doors, but Bob and I are both strong and not afraid to fight for our opinion. We don’t harbor resentment, we “duke it out” at the moment and then move on and trust all is well in our relationship. We realize that’s not the norm.

What we fail to realize is this pattern is not helpful to those around us as it does nothing to show the love of God. It makes people feel uncomfortable like they’re somewhere they shouldn’t be. Our communication is rooted in selfishness, stubbornness, and pride. All the things Christ asks us not to be.

How about when couples retreat from each other or stuff their feelings to avoid conflict, then nothing gets resolved. It’s where bitterness grows and affects all our relationships. Is that a loving behavior?

God Is Love

Have you ever thought about how you love others is a reflection of God’s love? A healthy marriage is a picture of God and His beloved church. How we love our children and spouse is a reflection of God’s love for us. If we aren’t doing that well, what does that say about how we understand God’s love? Is it lacking? Are we not feeling loved, therefore we can’t extend love to others?

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Nothing Can Separate Us From God's Love

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Nothing Can Separate Us From God's Love

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

For a Moment I Felt Separated

I’m a young, inexperienced mom who’s frustrated with my sweet child. Why will this precocious three-year-old not cooperate today? Why will he not listen to the voice of reason? I feel myself start to lose control. I know I should hold it back but I can’t. Anger rises within like a beast waiting to be un-caged. I lose my temper, sling angry words at him, and yank his arm. He looks at me in shock, bursts into tears, and runs to his room.

I collapse on the floor ashamed and overwhelmed at my lack of self-control. I cry angry sobs, and I hear the leering accusations ring in my thoughts:

“You call yourself a Christian?”

“How can you even love God when you act like that?”

“You’re a complete fraud and a hypocrite!”

“You’re not even fit to be a mother.”

I’ve walked with God long enough to recognize where the thoughts come from. The Father of Lies tries to convince me my bad behavior separates me from God’s love.

I cry out to God at the moment and say, “God, please forgive me for hurting my son. Forgive me for my angry outburst and lack of self-control. Help me be the kind of mom my son needs me to be.”

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You Are Loved by God, Part 2

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You Are Loved by God, Part 2

“I have loved you even as my Father has loved me. Remain in my love.”-John 15:9

We spend our days looking for signs of love.  Am I lovable? Do you love me? People confirm it, or we feel rejected by the perceived lack of love. There are two who love us unconditionally, forever. Jesus loves us because He is loved by His Father.  Our job is to find this love and remain in it all our days.

My First Love

My twin brother and I arrive unexpectedly six-weeks early. My young mom has no idea she’s having twins until they discover me after my brother is born.  At home, it is my older brother who is not yet one year old. We are all the same age for two weeks every July! My mom is 20 years old and has three babies and is thrilled about it. 

She’s a playful, “take charge” person. She works hard as a farmer’s wife. She tends the large garden, cooks homemade meals and treats, sews our clothing, hangs wallpaper and paints, keeps a tidy house, and serves in community groups.  She’s a bright light and the life of the party but she also works hard and is a strong disciplinarian. She has one of those, “you better listen to me when I’m talking” tones.

On snow days she lets us destroy the house with our toys, and we make fun food.  I spend my childhood as her sidekick in the kitchen. There is nothing she won’t tackle. I admire her ability to produce. She loves to play the piano or listen to record albums, as music fills our home. She’s ridiculous and funny and a great actress.  

 My mom is my comfort as I plop down on my bed,  sobbing tears of rejection. She sits with me, rubs my back and lets me cry.  We have the best heart-to-heart conversations. She holds me tight and tells me everything is going to be alright. Isn’t that what a girl needs most?  In the great big world where I perceive rejection, I have someone who tells me I’m lovely and I want to be loved. I never want to disappoint her. 

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You are Loved by God, Part 1

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You are Loved by God, Part 1

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.- Jeremiah 31:3 NIV

One of the surest ways to understand our identity in Christ is to start with love. We can be completely assured of God’s love based on what the scripture says. When we know, understand, and experience God’s love, we are changed. 

My daddy doesn’t scoop me up when he sees me. Our time together is limited, as he carries the heavy burden of farming and raising pigs. Deep lines, a furrowed brow, and sadness are often reflected on his face.  

He introduces me to weird foods like smoked fish, blue cheese, and sardines. I enjoy our time together in the kitchen because it’s rare. I love to see the warmth in his eyes and a grin on his face in these fleeting moments. 

He calls me unusual nicknames, like “Quackgrass” or “Sowthistle.” It probably makes sense to him since he’s a farmer. But honestly, why would you think it’s cute to nickname your daughter after a weed?

The dinner table isn’t a place for a joyful family banter. Instead, quiet obedience is required. We never know what kind of mood dad will be in. He seems upset a lot, and we do not want to make things worse.

The cares of farming, family, my mom, and probably things he doesn’t understand weigh on him. He escapes the pain by running to alcohol, as the smell lingers on his breath. It’s how we know when we have to be extra cautious and quiet so as not to upset him.

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New Year: New Identity, To Know Christ

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New Year: New Identity, To Know Christ

“I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to Him in His death.” -Philippians 3:10

In order for us to understand our identity in Christ, we need to know Him. The most powerful tool to use to know Christ is His Word.

An Awakening

It’s my first Mother’s Day on a perfect spring day, and I’m excited to open my present. Our first-born son is three weeks old, so I’m still healing from a c-section and deep into sleepless nights. We are in that newborn fog of parenting, each of us tries to make sense of our new roles. My hubby works long hours at the car dealership, needing to be the number one salesman each month, and I’m happy to be home with our newborn.

I excitedly open the gift and inside is a beautiful new Bible. It is pink with flowers and filled with lovely devotionals written by Godly women interspersed between the books of the Bible. I’m excited to dig in.

I’ve walked with God for four years, but something happens this spring as I open my new Bible and pour over its contents. I can’t wait for our newborn to nap so I can read the Word. I create a cozy spot on our front porch and sit in the sunshine and read. Tears pour down my cheeks and a longing in my soul is quenched as I read the Word. I know reading the Bible is important, but this is the first time in a long time I feel it’s life-giving power renew my weary soul. 

I’m hungry to know Christ, I want to understand God’s character. I want the Word to change me, to shape me into the person God has created me to be. I sense God’s nearness and His love for me overwhelms me. I never want to feel far from Him again.

Often we don’t understand our identity in Christ because we neglect our devotion to His Word. 

“Even among worship attendees less than half read the Bible daily. The only time most Americans hear from the Bible is when someone else is reading it.”-Lifeway Research

Our Bibles lay unopened and unread as we wonder why Christ seems so far off. We don’t experience our true identity in Christ because we don’t know our identity in Christ as it’s laid out in His Word.

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New Year: New Identity: Hidden In Christ

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New Year: New Identity: Hidden In Christ

‘For you died to this life and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”-Colossians 3:3 NLT

Once we accept Christ as Savior, He holds our life. We become hidden in Christ with God, and we belong to Him always. It’s the sweetest promise of belonging as a daughter of God. 

I walk into my new school, twelve years old, my parents newly divorced. I’m a bundle of nerves and excitement.  My mom needed to leave my dad because he chooses the bottle of whiskey over us. It’s a relief to be out from under the tyranny of it all. As an underdeveloped 12-year-old with a pixie, I know I’m not going to win any popularity contest, for sure.  Navigating the new school is a challenge. I didn’t know living in a trailer court was a bad thing. I naively thought it was fun to have friends close by if you wanted someone to hang out with.

I quickly learned not to tell anyone about my address at the trailer court after the first reaction I received.  Disgust. It was written all over her face as I tell her where I live. This moment is where I first learn to pretend; put up the facade then no one will know how disgusting I am. It wouldn’t take long before I understood the term, “trailer trash.”  Be nice, be kind, but don’t tell anyone where you live. Shame has been my companion for a while already. I just want to belong.

This need to belong, to have a place, is a universal need. Sometimes we like to convince ourselves life would be easier alone. We resort to this thinking often when we’ve been hurt. Being alone leads us to self-reliance, the opposite of what Christ requires. He is delighted when we depend on Him alone. 

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New Year: New Identity, Life In Christ

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New Year: New Identity, Life In Christ

“Living within you is the Christ who floods you with the expectation of glory. This mystery of Christ, embedded within us, becomes a heavenly treasure chest of hope filled with the riches of glory for his people, and God wants everyone to know it!” Colossians 1:27

As we begin this journey about identity, let’s look at how culture defines identity. Our culture tells us our worth stems from what we do, or who we are. Success, talent, money, a try-hard attitude, health, beauty, and the approval of others dictate our value. If we do all these things well, we are seen as valuable. If we lack these characteristics, we are seen as invaluable. 

When we are in Christ our identity flows from His goodness and is not dependent on us or others. He is the source of our identity. To understand what Christ has done for us, we need to start from when Christ first comes to dwell with us.

The Sweetest Surrender

The young pastor preaches passionately for a large group of wiggly teens in Calvin Klein jeans and Reeboks. This is the first time I’m exposed to the message of salvation in Christ. At church youth group, I feel out of place and different from everyone there. I sense God drawing me to Himself, but there is a wall of shame and brokenness I hide behind and not even God’s love can penetrate it. I’m not good enough or worthy to be near God. I feel like an outcast in this group of squeaky clean church kids. From the outside, I seem alright, but my home life is difficult with my stepfather’s alcoholism. If they only knew.

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New Year: New Identity

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New Year: New Identity

“So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with the fullness of God.”

-Ephesians 17-19

When You Feel Unloved

She sits on the chair with a pillow behind her because her feet don’t touch the ground. I sit on the couch with my long legs curled under me.  We sip warm cups of coffee and chatter nonstop. We are polar opposites in temperament and physical characteristics as I usually interrupt her, because I’m impatient, whereas she’s calm, deliberate, and steady as the sunrise.

Our conversation turns to matters of the heart, as usual.  We’re both grown women with children and grandchildren who still struggle with wounds of our past.  We were both raised by alcoholic fathers. We get each other. Doesn’t it feel helpful to process the pain with a friend? 

She talks about feeling unnoticed, not valued. I ask her the same question, “What does Papa say about you?”  She sheepishly grins and says, “He says, I’m loved, I’m accepted, and I’m valuable, no matter what I feel.” I can’t resist the twinkle in her eyes as she remembers the truth about who she is in Christ. She remembers she’s God’s beloved. How soon we forget.  The conversation continues as we talk about God’s goodness and His love for us.

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Take The First Step Towards God

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Take The First Step Towards God

“Come close to God and He will come close to you.”- James 4:8

Connection and love are deep needs. God places these needs in us to draw us to Himself. I don’t have to feel alone because when I move towards Him, He moves towards me. The simple truth is you can be as close to God as you choose.

I sit on the tree swing hung in the oak of our backyard. It’s a carefree summer day.  My brothers are at play; Dad works the farm. Mom is likely in the garden or the kitchen preparing food.  I feel alone and small. I longed to be with people. Even at a young age, I hated the solitude of the farm.  

I want to be where the people are. Maybe I could go hang out with my cousins, seven miles down the road, or go to my friend, Molly’s house. Her house is bustling with activity because she lives in town. I admire the neighbors close-by. I imagine the people who live there are never lonely because all they have to do is step outside and greet a neighborhood friend.

My Grandparents live in town too, and their house is my favorite because there is always someone there. With my Grandparents’ six children and twenty-two grandchildren, there is no shortage of family nearby.  Grandma loves to play games. She teaches us card games, dice games, Chinese Checkers, and Marbles. 

Grandma has time for us, and her beds are the most comfortable. It’s like the pillowcases are dusted with love. An impromptu sleepover ends with me wearing one of Grandpa’s huge t-shirts. My tiny frame is wrapped in softness and love as I sleep. My grandparents dole out endless hugs and trips to the candy jar in the hall closet. I’m certain I’m their favorite, but if you ask my cousins, they’ll tell you they think they’re the favorite, too. Funny how that works.

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Let Delight Motivate You to Meet With God

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Let Delight Motivate You to Meet With God

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”- Psalm 37:4

Have you ever thought about your motivation for meeting with God? Do you do it out of duty,  obligation, or is delight the reason to sit with Papa? The reason we chose to commune with God matters and when we operate out of delight, we will sense the Father’s love and in turn, feel closer to Him.

A Different Approach

This day I try something different during my morning devotions.  Instead of journaling my usual prayer requests and reading the Word, I chose to sit in God’s presence and sense His delight. It fills my heart with joy as I imagine my good Papa pleased with me. I revel in who He is and admire all the things I love about Him.  I praise Him for His goodness, faithfulness, love, peace, protection, provision, guidance, and wisdom.  

I meditate on all the beautiful qualities of His character and I rest in His love for me. In spite of my sin, bad habits, shortcomings, and failures, God delights in me and that truly makes me want to love and serve Him better. I’m amazed at the joy and peace that washes over my soul.  

This quiet morning, I don’t want anything from Him, except to be with Him. I sense His delight and my heart burst with anticipation.  I delight in Him and He delights in me. It’s the same feeling I have when I connect well with my husband or a close friend. It’s too wonderful to comprehend.

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Read the Word for Connection

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Read the Word for Connection

“The word of God is living and active…” Hebrews 4:12a

Have you ever considered your relationship with God’s Word and the correlation to your connectedness with Him?  Today we’ll learn how to read the Word for transformation instead of information. 

It was a gray winter morning as I arose early again. It was my routine to spend time with God before the busyness of the day set it. The house was quiet, as I gathered my robe around my chilled body and heart. I opened my Bible, and I was overcome with sadness. There was a deep longing for connection with God, but I didn’t know how to attain it.  I sat there sullen, bored, and uninterested. Surely this wasn’t what communion with God should feel like. I was ashamed and embarrassed by my lack of passion.

 How could I be bored with a living God? I knew I was supposed to study and memorize the Word. I knew I was supposed to hide it in my heart, but that day reading the Word felt routine and uninspired.  Was it my fault? Could I approach the Word differently? If I did approach it differently would I feel more connected to God? I longed for closeness and intimacy with Him

Reading for Transformation

Ruth Haley Barton’s, Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, would be the lifeline that would change the way I related to the Word for the rest of my days.  She talks about the difference between reading a newspaper and a love letter. A newspaper is read to gather information. We gather information and analyze and do so quickly as we master the text, but a love letter is read to gather connection with the reader. In a love letter, we read between the lines and savor every word with its hidden meaning and connection. We read it over and over rehearsing our Loves heart and intention for us. 

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List the Gifts To Feel Close to God

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List the Gifts To Feel Close to God

Even though we are past Thanksgiving season, I want to carry gratitude into the rest of my days because the practice of keeping a gratitude list holds the key to feel close to God. The discipline of writing down a list each day changed me.

My Gray World

I sit in the dim early morning hours frustrated, empty, prayers don’t come. God seems far away. I open the Word but nothing speaks to me. The world feels grey. Where is the joy? Am I bored? Where has my usual sunny disposition gone? I feel unsettled, so unlike myself. God seems far away and I’ve lost the wonder. What can I do? Something needs to change.

I remember the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  There had been a buzz about it in Christian circles, and I knew I needed to read it; maybe it held a key.  I devoured the book then invited a few friends over to watch the video series with me. Her words captured me. She’s an artist and poet and spoke vulnerably of the pain she experienced, and how God showed her Himself through the act of keeping a gratitude journal. The book and practice of gratitude would change me forever and bring me closer to God.

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.”-Sarah Ban Breathnach 

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Make Your Life A Prayer

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Make Your Life A Prayer

We’re continuing in our Building a Close Relationship with God Series talking about prayer. Is prayerlessness keeping you far from God? Perhaps you have a narrow view of prayer.  Let’s talk about how to have a continual conversation with God.

“Make your life a prayer.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 TPT

My View of Prayer

I had some rigid ideas about what prayer should look like when I first met the Lord over thirty years ago. I was more concerned about myself than I was about connecting to God. I wanted to do it right and say the right words. I wanted to seem spiritual. I wrongly assumed somehow if the words weren’t right,  God wouldn’t hear me.

As a Christian, I knew the right thing to do. I was to happily rise early and have a quiet time with God, reading my Bible, and praying for people. It felt like an assignment or obligation. I needed to check it off my “Good Christian Girl” checklist so I would be approved by God. I was quite proud of myself for doing it right.

Imagine the shame I’d feel when I missed a few days. Regret. Surely God was disappointed with me, so how could I possibly read my Bible again?  It’s funny how the devil hooks us with our performance. When we believe the lie our relationship with God depends on what we do, it’s a very slippery slope.  The truth that rescues us is to remember we love Him because He first loved us. He was pursuing us long before we met Him. Doesn’t that minimize the performance pressure?

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The Joy of Vulnerability With God

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The Joy of Vulnerability With God

“Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part [of my heart] You will make me know wisdom.”- Psalm 51:6 AMP

We are continuing in our Building a Close Relationship with God Series with the topic of vulnerability.  Do you struggle to be vulnerable with God? Does shame have the opposite effect and cause you to hide from Him?  It could be a reason you don’t feel close to Him.

I Messed Up Again

I blew it again. I wanted to be a patient, loving mom. I could be calm and gentle but if things escalated my inclination was to be bossy and brash. I demanded obedience, and my kid’s disrespect was hard to handle.  I especially felt like a failure with my son Caleb. He was an active boy with a strong will who wanted to call the shots. I felt exasperated most of the time. One frustrating morning, Holy Spirit gently asked, “why are you so angry with Caleb?”  I was shocked at first. But Holy Spirit was right, I was frustrated and I’d respond in anger, which was just escalating every interaction with my wild boy. 

I was filled with shame and regret each time I responded harshly to him.  This mothering was the one thing I was called to do and I felt like I failed every day.  I wanted to hide from God. I was humiliated and embarrassed by my behavior. After all, my kids were just little humans who deserved grace, patience, and gentle training. 

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Building A Close Relationship with God Series: Look Up

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Building A Close Relationship with God Series: Look Up

“Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always,”-1 ChroniclesFo 16:11

We’re continuing in our Building a Close Relationship With God Series with a look at focus. 

Focus

What we focus on becomes magnified in our lives.  Focusing on pain and difficulty enlarges them, but focusing on God brings us peace.

Often God seems far off because our view of Him is clouded by our difficult circumstances.  We need to shift our focus in order to see God. It’s in the shifting we experience His presence, which helps us have the ability to get through our hard days or frustrating moments.

The rambunctious child on the playground reaches to grab the monkey bars, but he slips and comes crashing down. Tears stain his face as he surveys the playground looking for the face of his father.  Daddy swoops in and picks him up and says, “Look at me, it’s going to be okay.” Dad holds the child close and comforts him.

She’s labored for hours as waves of pain sweep through her body, so she can bring forth this life inside of her.  She knows to look up. She focuses on her husband’s face and he counts her through the contraction. She’s drawing strength and courage from him to continue her arduous task.

Each of these has learned the value of focus.  When they look to someone stronger they know they can make it through. When they shift their gaze from the pain they are experiencing, they receive comfort and care. And so it goes with our good God.

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Building A Close Relationship With God Series: Overcome Religious Lies

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Building A Close Relationship With God Series: Overcome Religious Lies

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”-John 8:32

One of the main reasons people don’t feel close to God is because they believe a religious lie, often picked up in childhood.  Have you ever thought about what you believe about God? Could you believe a lie? It may be the reason you feel far from Him.

Ann Believed a Religious Lie

Ann grew up in the church and remembers feeling a connection to God as a child, but as an adult, she feels God is far off. She can never measure up to all the Christian do’s and don’ts, and the standards are just too hard for her to keep.  She feels disappointed in herself when she doesn’t read her Bible enough or want to go to church. It’s hard for her to feel a connection to God when she’s in church, so she figures, what’s the point?

She likely believes a lie that in order to be loved by God she has to perform perfectly. She believes she needs to earn His love, and when she makes a mistake or doesn’t follow through with the perceived do’s and don’ts of Christian living, God doesn’t love her.

She is absolutely wrong because God’s love isn’t earned, it’s given freely based on His goodness, not ours.

We all have different views of God and most of us are likely living out some distorted view of Him based on our personal experience, our family, and our church dynamics. The hardest part is most of us never question the distorted views of God we carry.

I’m convinced none of us escapes this ploy as the Enemy lies to us about God. The Bible explains the role the devil plays like this, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”-John 8:44 A major tactic of the Enemy is to lie to us about God to prevent us from moving closer to him

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