Letting Go of Control: How Christian Moms Can Trust God with Their Adult Kids

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Letting Go of Control: How Christian Moms Can Trust God with Their Adult Kids

“When I am afraid, I will trust in You. “ -Psalm 56:3

Letting go of control and trusting God with our adult children can be one of the hardest things for moms, especially if we’ve spent years nurturing, guiding, and praying for them.

When we’re honest, no mom wants to raise her hand and admit, “Yeah, I’m a complete control freak when it comes to my kids.” We bristle and like to avoid reality, but at our core, many of us struggle with being in charge.

It showed up in our hovering, intervening, and desiring never to see our children struggle or fail. We continually rescued them from their poor choices or trials, and hoped it would improve. 

Now that they’re grown, we struggle with worry and sleepless nights, wondering if they’re doing okay emotionally, relationally, spiritually, financially, and academically. We hope they pick the right mate, land the perfect job, and stroll through life unscathed. 

In her book, It’s All Under Control, Jennifer Dukes Lee said, “You may need to let go of that deluded belief that if you worry about something enough, it will resolve itself.” Goodness, that one hits us in the gut, doesn’t it? Worry is delusion. Nothing good ever comes of worry except that we lose our peace. It doesn’t change anything for our adult child’s life. It simply makes us miserable.

We feel the pull to rescue, advise, and influence their choices, but we are called to trust God.

This season is a beautiful invitation into deeper faith.

 As we release control, we submit to God’s work in our lives and our grown kids' lives. We humble ourselves and lean in as God says, “I’ll take it from here, Momma. Rest in Me. I hold all things together. This was never a burden you were to bear.”

Powerful steps to help you release control and truly trust God:

1. Recognize What’s Yours and What’s God’s

Remind yourself that you’re no longer the manager but a mentor.

Understanding this shift is monumental for a mom with grown children. Resisting this growth stage will hamper your connection with your kids. They will pull away, angered by your controlling habits.

 Your child is now responsible for their own choices. God doesn’t ask you to fix everything; He asks you to entrust them to Him. Your role has shifted, but your prayers are still powerful. God hears your every plea and will settle your heart as you talk to Him.

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Top Ten Things Moms Should Know Before Launching Their Kids

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Top Ten Things Moms Should Know Before Launching Their Kids

Are you ready for it?

Hey there, momma!

So, picture this: your kiddo is on the verge of spreading their wings and taking on the big, wide world. Exciting, right? But, let's be real, it's also a bit nerve-wracking. As Christian moms, we know there's more to this launch than just packing bags and giving pep talks. It's about trusting God and preparing yourself for the biggest shift in your motherhood.  So, before we send our little ones off into the unknown, let's chat about the top ten things moms need to know before launching their kids.

1. Allow your child to be autonomous: 

No grown child wants you to be a hovering, helicopter mom. That’s just annoying! It’s normal when your child wants his independence and control over his own decision. This is the goal of parenting. They want to become their own person and you need to let them become just that. You gotta get out of the way. Even if it means them moving away or heading in a direction you wouldn’t select. You must let them fly.

The Big Question: What are you doing to encourage your child to make choices for his life?

2. Don’t make this season about you:

This transition is not about you; it’s about your emerging adult and what is best for him. There will be time for you to process transitional grief, but don’t do that with your child. That will hurt him. Instead, Brenda Yoder, author of Fledge said, “Be the kind of mom you needed when you young. This will ensure your child feels loved and supported. This is important! It’s what they need most! You’ll have time to handle your emotions alone, with God.

The Big Question: What can you do to remember this is about your child not you?

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Embracing the Bittersweet with High School Seniors

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Embracing the Bittersweet with High School Seniors

 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:6-7

Bittersweet Moments

I watched Rebekah gracefully cross the stage to accept her certificate, confident and composed, as my mind flashed to her four-year-old-self. I saw her in her purple sequined tutu and her first pair of tap shoes, blissfully on stage at her first dance recital.  Her wavy hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, with a purple feather hat tipped to the side. She grinned from ear to ear as the music faded up. Her brown eyes sparkled as she danced. 

I remembered the challenging middle school years where girls hurled insults and hurt her tender heart. “Mean Girls” wasn’t just a movie, it was a shocking reality for my young teen. She navigated rejection and learned important lessons about friendship.  

High school brought endless leadership opportunities and growth. And here we were at the end, as our calendar was filled with events.The final Choir Concert, Spring Musical, National Honor Society Banquet, Prom, Student Council Banquet, Speech Banquet. She happily walked through each event while I thought my heart would break in two. 

How would I survive bittersweet moments, tumbling together, one after another? Is this what letting go feels like?

Emotional Swings

Maybe you’ve felt these emotional swoops as high school graduation season is upon us.

Moms will experience immense contradictory emotions as they navigate the end of their children's high school. Know this is normal. This is part of the transition. This is where we feel unsettled and at peace. How is this even possible? You’re not losing your mind; you're just moving through a big moment in your motherhood.

We live in the tension of “big feelings" and confidence in God. We’ll experience abundant joy and deep sorrow. We are stuck longing for the past, but hopeful for the future. We’ll experience regret for our mistakes and pride for the ways we parented well. We will wrestle with doubt and cling to God

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