6 Consequences For Not Letting Go and Trusting God with Your Adult Children
/Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:10
No mom wants to be a control freak, yet when we step back and observe our behavior, we often find that we desperately want to influence the outcomes in our adult children's lives. We struggle to remember we need to move from controlling to supporting.
What does it mean to let go? What are the consequences if we don’t?
Mel Robbins, author of the popular new book Let Them, suggests that we’ll experience greater freedom and peace by acknowledging our inability to control others or their actions. It encourages a shift in mindset where we focus on our reactions instead of trying to micromanage people.
For a mom with adult children, this means we will find greater peace when we let them make their own choices while we focus more on our response. We can’t or shouldn’t control their choices because they’re grown now. The only thing we can control is how we respond to their choices. We give them freedom while we choose to remain at peace. This looks like active listening and empathy rather than correcting or trying to sway opinions.
We hold our grown children loosely, trusting in God.
Thankfully, in our relationship with the Lord, we understand that He is ultimately in control of all things. We can rest knowing that God sees our grown children and loves them, regardless of their actions. He’s familiar with rebellion because we’ve all been there, but our Maker has a way of drawing us near. He brings correction and conviction, but He does it from a heart of love. Isn’t God worthy of being trusted? Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:10
If a Christian empty nest mom doesn’t let go and trust God with her adult children, it can have deep emotional, relational, and spiritual consequences, not only for her, but for her whole family.
Here's a breakdown of what can happen:
1. Emotional Burnout and Chronic Anxiety
Holding on too tightly often leads to constant worry over your child’s decisions or faith journeys. You spend your time focused on “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. Sleepless nights become your routine. You experience emotional exhaustion as you bear the weight of their troubles. This is not how it’s supposed to be. Your grown children are responsible for carrying their burdens to God, not to you. You’re invited to give your cares to God. Let Him do the heavy lifting.
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