Six Questions Every Empty Nest Mom Should Ask to Discover Her God-Given Purpose

No woman slides quietly or effortlessly into the empty nest. This is a monumental transition, and most of us arrive here feeling unprepared for what comes next or unsure how God is still at work in us.

As we stand on the edge of this new season, the questions get louder:
What’s next?
Who am I apart from motherhood?
Does my life still have purpose, and if so, what is it now?

If you’ve asked any of those questions, you’re not behind. You’re right on time.

Scripture reminds us, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). That promise didn’t expire when your kids left home. God’s purposes for you are not tied to one role or one season; they are woven into who you are.

As an Empty Nest Coach, I’ve learned something important: clarity doesn’t come from quick answers. It comes from asking better questions. And questions are exactly what we need in this season of shifting identities and fresh possibilities we didn’t see coming.

Let’s be honest, we’d all love a clarion call from heaven that says, “This is what I created you for. Do this.” But more often than not, God leads us gently, inviting us to look inward and backward before we move forward.

The surest way to uncover your purpose is to become thoughtfully introspective, to mine your story and your God-given motivations for clues to what He’s been preparing you for all along.

So let’s dig.
Here are six questions to help you discover your purpose in the empty nest.
Grab your journal, open your heart, and let’s go looking for gold together.

1. What Are You Passionate About?

What is the one thing your heart keeps circling back to, no matter the season or the responsibilities on your plate?

Another way to ask this is: What sets your soul on fire? What topic, cause, or activity stirs something deep within you and moves you to action?

Passion has a way of rising to the surface without effort. It’s the thing you could talk about for thirty minutes without notes. The conversation that energizes you instead of draining you. The space where you feel most alive, most yourself, and most engaged.

This kind of passion doesn’t feel forced. It doesn’t feel heavy. It feels life-giving. When you’re leaning into it, time passes quickly, and fulfillment comes naturally, not because it’s easy, but because it’s aligned.

Pay attention to what lights you up. God often plants our passions as clues to our purpose. When you follow what He’s been stirring in your heart, you may just find that He’s been preparing you for this season all along.

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”- Psalm 37:4

This verse reminds us that when our hearts are anchored in God, the desires He places within us are not selfish or accidental. Often, our deepest passions are God-given, planted there to draw us toward the good works He’s inviting us into now. As you pay attention to what delights you, trust that God may be revealing something sacred about your purpose in this season.

2. What Are Your Natural Gifts?

God has wired you in very specific ways, and those gifts didn’t disappear when your kids left home.

What comes naturally to you? What do others consistently thank you for or seek you out to help with? Maybe you’re a steady listener, a wise encourager, a creative thinker, an organizer, a teacher, or a natural leader. These abilities often feel ordinary to us because they’ve always been there, but that doesn’t make them insignificant.

Your natural gifts are the things you do with ease and grace, often without formal training. They’re the strengths that quietly show up again and again in your relationships, your work, your church, and your home. While passion points to what excites you, your gifts reveal how God has equipped you to serve.

Scripture tells us, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” (Romans 12:6). That means your gifts are not random, and they are not meant to be compared. They are grace-filled and intentional, designed to be used for God’s glory in this season of your life.

Take inventory without minimizing or dismissing what comes easily to you. God often uses what feels most natural to accomplish what is most meaningful. Your gifts are not leftovers from a past season; they are tools for what He’s calling you into now.

3. How Have You Served in the Past?

Your past is not something to move beyond or dismiss; it’s something to mine for wisdom. As you look back over the years of raising your children, pay attention to the ways you naturally showed up to serve.

Were you the one who stepped in to lead when something needed organizing or direction? The mom who gathered people, made plans, and carried responsibility with confidence? Or were you the quiet servant, the one who noticed needs, offered steady support, and served faithfully behind the scenes with humility and care?

These patterns matter. They reveal how God has shaped you through lived experience. Scripture tells us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). God has revealed His purposes in the past, and He will continue to do so in the empty nest.

4. What Motivates You?

This question moves us from what you’re good at to what energizes you. Motivation is about noticing what stirs you to action, what pulls you forward rather than pushes you from behind.

Pay attention to what gives you energy instead of draining it. What activities leave you feeling more alive, more hopeful, or more engaged? What ideas spark enthusiasm and make you want to lean in rather than check out?

Motivation often reveals itself in contrast. Notice what exhausts you and what fuels you. The difference matters. When something aligns with how God has wired you, it feels life-giving, even when it requires effort. You may find yourself thinking, “This is what I was made for. I could do this all day and still have joy.”

Scripture reminds us, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). That inner drive, the desire to show up, serve, create, or lead, may very well be God at work within you, nudging you toward what He’s calling you to next.

Listen closely to what motivates you. God often uses holy desire to guide us into meaningful purpose.

5. What Skills Have You Honed Through Motherhood?

Motherhood has been one of your greatest training grounds, even if it didn’t come with a résumé or a paycheck. Over the years, you’ve developed a distinct and valuable skill set, shaped by love, perseverance, and daily faithfulness.

Think about it. Have you become a clear and firm communicator? A flexible problem-solver or an agile planner? Maybe you’ve built physical strength from years of wrangling toddlers, carrying car seats, or simply showing up day after day. Perhaps you’ve grown into a steady leader, a capable organizer, or a wise decision-maker.

Many moms have also developed deep compassion and empathy through hardship. You may have learned how to advocate fiercely for your child, navigate medical or emotional challenges, or walk through seasons that required courage you didn’t know you had. Those experiences were not wasted; they refined you.

Scripture assures us, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). The good work you’ve done in motherhood has produced strength, wisdom, and resilience that can now be stewarded in new ways.

Take time to notice what God has been honing in you all along. The skills shaped in one season often become the tools for purpose in the next. God truly wastes nothing.

6. Where Is God Leading You?

Ultimately, the surest way to discover your purpose is to ask God to lead you and then trust that He will. The One who orders your steps and holds every moment of your life already sees this season clearly. You are not wandering. You are being guided.

This is who your God is. This is how faithfully He cares for you.

Scripture reminds us, “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him” (Psalm 37:23). God is not vague or withholding with His children. He promises to lead, to direct, and to go before you, often one step at a time.

Your role is not to figure everything out. Your role is to get before Him in prayer, invite His guidance, and then keep your eyes open to where He is already at work. Pay attention to recurring nudges, open doors, timely conversations, and the quiet peace that settles when something aligns with His will.

As you pray, ask God to lead, and then listen. Connect your prayers to what He’s unfolding in your real, everyday life. Purpose often reveals itself as we walk with God, not before we move.

There is no need to fear this season or wonder if your purpose has somehow passed you by. You serve a faithful God: one who reveals, directs, and gently guides as you pause, reflect, and grow curious about the life He’s been shaping within you all along.

As you pay attention to what stirs your heart, what motivates your steps, and what brings a holy sense of joy to your soul, trust this: your purpose is not lost; it’s unfolding. It’s been forming through every season of motherhood, every challenge you’ve walked through, and every strength God has quietly cultivated in you.

The empty nest is not an ending. It’s an invitation.

An invitation to listen more closely, to trust more deeply, and to partner with God as He reveals what’s next. You don’t have to rush. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You simply have to show up with an open heart and a willing spirit.

So go ahead. Invite God into the process. Ask the questions. Take the next step.
Your purpose is waiting, and God is eager to walk with you as you discover it. 

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, I praise you for the woman I am becoming. I don’t want to go back to a younger version of myself. Help me embrace who I am now and see the ways you’ve wired me and made me who I am. I long to know your purpose for this season. Reveal it to me and make it clear. Amen.

Still struggling with letting go?

The Transitional Grief Journaling Guide is a faith-filled resource designed to help empty nest moms process the deep emotions of letting go. Through six guided reflection questions, you’ll name your feelings, invite God into your grief, and discover His comfort in the middle of change. This gentle companion will remind you that transitional grief is only a season and God is leading you toward peace, purpose, and joy.

Aging with Confidence: Six Strategies to Help Midlife Women Feel Strong and Content

My Reflection

I caught my reflection in the mirror this morning, gray hair shimmering like threads of wisdom, softening around my jawline, a tummy that tells the story of babies carried and years lived. When did all this arrive? And those laugh lines? They’re showing up proudly around my eyes and mouth, proof that joy has visited me often. Still, sometimes the changes catch me off guard.

It’s easy to fixate on the physical as we move through our forties, fifties, and sixties. The shifts in our skin and shape happen right before our eyes. But Momma, what if aging isn’t something to battle, hide, or fear? What if it’s an invitation?

What if we looked beyond the mirror and saw the woman we’ve become: the wisdom we carry, the resilience we’ve built, the faith that’s been tested and strengthened, the love we’ve poured into our families? These aren’t signs of decline. They’re signs of growth.

Dawn Barton writes in Midlife Battle Cry, “As long as we keep believing a Hollywood story that tells us each year we become less, then we are part of the problem.” She’s right. It’s time to rewrite the narrative.

Midlife Momma, you are not fading. You’re flourishing.

These years can be some of the most fruitful, joy-filled, and deeply content years of your life. So let’s dive into six powerful strategies that will help you embrace aging with confidence, gratitude, and peace.

1.  Recognize You Are More Than Your Looks

Oh, Momma, we spend so much energy critiquing our reflection. We tug at the loose skin, sigh at the softening belly, and wonder where those once-perky parts disappeared to. I get it! I’m right there with you. But hear me clearly: you are not the sum of your wrinkles, your waistline, or your wardrobe size.

Your worth has never been measured by how young you look. Staying young was never God’s assignment for your life.

God has always cared more about the woman you’re becoming than the mirror you’re facing. Aging invites us to cultivate a richer, deeper inner life; the place where you meet with God, where your roots sink into His love, where intimacy grows in ways your younger self couldn’t have imagined.

This is who you are:
A beloved daughter.
Chosen.
Cherished. Held.
Always His.

And when that truth lands in your bones? It brings a peace no cream, hairstyle, or number on the scale could ever offer.

2. Practice Acceptance

It’s tempting to drift back to who we used to be: the younger body with the quicker metabolism. But chasing a former version of ourselves only steals the joy of who we are right now. Acceptance is a holy invitation to stay present, to honor this season, and to love the woman you’re becoming.

When you practice acceptance, you stop living in the rearview mirror. You let the past be the past. You recognize that you did the best you could with the wisdom, resources, and maturity you had at the time. And that’s enough.

You choose to show up fully in this moment, the only place where God meets you.
Not yesterday.
Not someday.
Today.

Right here is where you feel His nearness. Right now is where grace flows. When you embrace this moment instead of mourning the one you’ve left behind, peace starts to take root. You stop striving to rewrite your story and start living the chapter you’re in, with gratitude and open hands.

Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s growing up.

3. Acknowledge Your Confidence

Momma, one of the beautiful gifts of midlife is the quiet confidence you carry now. You don’t shrink back like you once did. You’re not rattled by every opinion in the room. You’ve lived enough life, walked through enough valleys, and climbed enough mountains to know you can handle whatever comes.

And here’s the best part:
Your confidence isn’t rooted in ego; it’s rooted in God’s faithfulness.

You’ve seen Him show up too many times to doubt His presence now. Every battle you’ve survived, every prayer you’ve prayed, every heartbreak He’s carried you through has settled something deep inside you: You are not alone.

This confidence feels like standing steady when others crumble.

It’s the kind of strength that comes from knowing God’s power flows through your veins. You walk into a room differently now because you walk in with Him.

This is not arrogance.
This is spiritual maturity.
This is the fruit of a woman who has lived, loved, endured, and trusted God every step of the way.

4. Harness Your Wisdom

 You didn’t wake up one morning full of wisdom. This came from years of showing up, seeking God, and walking through things that could have broken you but didn’t. You earned this hard-won wisdom through tears, prayers, victories, disappointments, and countless moments of trusting God when you couldn’t see the way forward.

This isn’t worldly wisdom or intellectual achievement.
This is Spirit-shaped wisdom, the kind that grows from staying close to God’s heart.

You’ve learned to recognize His whisper in a noisy world.
You’ve followed His nudges when it didn’t make sense.
You’ve obeyed His leading even when it stretched you.

And because of that, you now carry a depth of discernment that younger women long for. You see situations clearly. You sense what’s right. You know when to speak and when to stay silent. You don’t rush decisions because you’ve learned that God’s timing is never late.

Your judgment is sound because your roots run deep.
Your counsel carries weight because it’s soaked in Scripture, prayer, and experience.
People lean in when you speak, not because you’re loud, but because your life has proven trustworthy.

Wisdom is one of God’s greatest gifts to you in midlife.
Embrace it.
Steward it well.

5. Embrace Productivity

Here’s a truth that might just blow your mind: your most productive years are still ahead of you. Research consistently shows that the highest-producing decade of a person’s life is between ages 60–70. The second most productive? Ages 70–80. And the third? Ages 50–60.

Think about that for a moment.

The average age of Nobel Prize winners is 62.
The average age of CEOs leading major companies is 63.
The average age of pastors shepherding the largest churches in America? 71.

So if you’re in your forties or fifties, guess what?
You haven’t even hit your peak yet.
Your greatest impact is still unfolding.

Doesn’t that fill you with hope?

Midlife isn’t a slow fade; it’s a launching pad. This season is ripe with clarity, wisdom, experience, and God-given purpose. You’re not too old, too late, or too far behind. You are perfectly positioned for God to do something powerful through your life.

Let this truth settle in:
You are still becoming.
You are still growing.
You are still capable of great kingdom impact.

Hand your gifts, time, and energy to God and let Him lead you into work that excites your soul. You have decades of purpose in front of you, Momma. Embrace it with joy.

6. Appreciate the Richness of Connection

 One of the greatest gifts of aging is the deep, meaningful connections you’ve built along the way. You were never meant to walk through life alone, and thankfully, you don’t have to. Look around: your husband, your grown kids, your grandbabies, your siblings, your church family, your neighbors, your girlfriends. These relationships are threads God has woven into your story, creating a tapestry of love and belonging.

You’ve fought for these connections.
You’ve forgiven when it was hard.
You’ve shown up when you were tired.
You’ve tried again when things felt fragile.

Why? Because you know the beauty that comes from doing life beside others.

You’ve learned that community strengthens you. Encouragement lifts you. Friendship steadies you. The love you give and the love you receive have shaped who you are today. You’ve grown soft where it matters and strong where it counts.

And here’s the truth:
You are richer because of the people God has placed in your life.
They don’t just surround you, they strengthen you.
Life really is better together.

Momma, it’s time to release the old, inaccurate story culture tells us about aging. This season isn’t a slow fade; it’s a sacred unfolding. Every year we’re given is another opportunity to grow in wisdom, strength, and purpose. When we recognize the beauty and power of this stage of life, our hearts open wide to the good God is still writing into our story.

Aging is not a sign that your impact is diminishing.
It’s proof that God has carried you, shaped you, and prepared you for more.

It’s not over.
God’s not finished.
And truly, some of your most meaningful, joy-filled, and purpose-packed days are still ahead.

Lift your chin, soften your heart, and step boldly into the future He has for you. You’re just getting started.

Let’s pray.

Dear God, I praise you for this season of my life. Help me release the outdated version of what it means to thrive so I can embrace the goodness right here, and now. Please fill me with peace and contentment and lead me to your next best thing. Amen.

Need help with your adult children?

What did I say? Grab my free guide: 10 Things Not to Say to Your Adult Child(and 5 Ways to Stop Yourself From Saying Them), A starter list of things moms say that frustrate their adult children. Identify the statements that trip you up and learn strategies for more harmony and connection in your relationship with your grown children.

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How to Manage Holiday Expectations with Adult Children: Six Grace-Filled Strategies for Peace and Connection

As the holidays draw near, many moms feel that familiar tug of nostalgia. We long for the simpler days when everyone was gathered around the same table, laughter filled the kitchen, and no one had in-laws or work schedules to consider. Back then, life felt cozy and connected; our kids were close, and so were our hearts.

But now, the empty chairs sting a little. Our grown children have new homes, new traditions, and new responsibilities. And when the holidays don’t look like they used to, disappointment can quietly creep in. We picture what should be, and before we know it, those expectations begin to steal our joy and strain our relationships.

Momma, what if this year looked different, not worse, just different, and still full of meaning? What if we could approach the holidays with open hands, trusting that God can make beauty out of change?

Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” When we release our tight grip and let Him lead, peace begins to take root.

Let’s look at six grace-filled strategies to help you navigate holiday expectations with peace, flexibility, and deeper connection this season.

1. Be Self-Aware

Momma, have you ever felt that quiet heaviness during the holidays and couldn’t quite explain why? You love your family deeply, but something feels off. You miss how things used to be: the matching pajamas, the early morning giggles, the house buzzing with activity. You’re holding on to those precious memories, and that’s okay. But sometimes, clinging too tightly to what was can make it hard to receive the new season God has for you.

When your emotions start to spiral, when you’re irritable, hurt, or easily disappointed, it’s often a sign that unspoken expectations are running the show. Becoming self-aware helps you name what’s really going on beneath the surface. It’s not about guilt or shame; it’s about grace and growth.

Take time to pause and invite God into that inner space. Ask Him to reveal what’s stirring in your heart and to replace frustration with peace.

Psalm 139:23–24 says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

2. Name What You’re Holding

Momma, the purest way to manage those uncomfortable emotions that surface during the holidays is to name them. Don’t shove them down or pretend they’re not there. Have the courage to pause and ask yourself, “What am I really feeling?” Is it disappointment that your grown kids can’t all be home this year? Resentment because you feel left out of their plans? Maybe it’s sadness, rejection, or even fear that family traditions are slipping away.

Whatever you’re holding, bring it into the light. God can’t heal what we hide, but He lovingly meets us in what we’re honest about. When we name our emotions with self-compassion instead of judgment, we make room for grace. We’re not weak for feeling deeply; we’re human and beloved.

Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

So, take a breath and whisper your truth to God. Let His gentle presence meet you in the ache. When we stop pretending everything’s fine and honestly name our pain, we open the door for His comfort and healing to flow in.

3. Understand the Impact of Expectations

Momma, let’s be honest, most of our holiday stress starts right here. Expectations can sneak in quietly, dressed as good intentions. We imagine what the holidays should look like, how the house should feel, and who should be around the table. But when reality doesn’t match our vision, disappointment moves in, and suddenly our joy feels stolen.

Holding too tightly to expectations not only hurts you, it strains your connection with your adult children. When you insist things go your way, you unknowingly communicate, “My comfort matters more than our relationship.” That’s never your heart, but it can feel that way to them. Grown kids want to come home because they’re welcomed, not guilted.

The truth is, expectations create pressure, but grace creates peace. When you release your grip, you make space for empathy, flexibility, and authentic joy.

James 3:17 reminds us, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

When you trade your expectations for God’s wisdom, peace begins to flow again. You start to value connection over control, and that’s where the sweetest holiday moments are found.

4. Practice Flexibility to Build Connection

Momma, the antidote to unmet expectations is flexibility. When you loosen your grip on how the holidays should look, you open your hearts to the beauty of what can be. A flexible mom knows that Christmas morning might not happen on December 25th, and that’s okay. What matters most is being together, whenever and however that happens.

A flexible mom listens with love. She shares what’s meaningful to her but also makes space for what matters to her grown kids. She doesn’t stew in disappointment when plans shift or someone can’t make it home. Instead, she blesses the time she does have and chooses gratitude over grumbling. Her gentle adaptability becomes the glue that holds her family close, even across miles and time zones.

Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

When you model humility and flexibility, you show your children what love looks like in action. The result? Deeper connection, softer hearts, and a home, whether full or quiet, that radiates peace and grace.

5. Partner with God in Surrender

Momma, surrender isn’t giving up; it’s giving over. As a parent of adult children, you’re learning that surrender is the secret to peace and strong connection. It’s laying down your expectations, not in defeat, but in trust. Trust that God loves your family even more than you do.

You can bring every disappointment, every lonely ache, and every “this isn’t how I pictured it” moment to a gracious God who never shames or condemns. In surrender, you place your desires at the feet of Jesus and whisper, “Your will, not mine.” You loosen your grip on the past and open your hands to the new thing God is doing right now.

Isaiah 26:3-4 promises, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.”

Surrender anchors your soul in peace. You stop striving to control and start resting in God’s faithful hands. Even in the ache, you can be confident. He’s working in your heart, in your children’s lives, and in the story He’s still writing for your family.

6. Things Can Look Different and Still Be Good

Momma, this season may not look like years past, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less beautiful. When we release what was, we make space to see what is. God is still here, weaving His goodness through every moment, even the quiet ones.

As you accept the changes in your family’s holiday rhythm, take notice of His presence in the simple things: a conversation that makes you laugh, the warmth of a candle, a moment of stillness that softens your heart. When you center yourself on God’s faithful love, gratitude begins to grow. The pressure fades, and peace settles in.

Those who gather around your table, whether few or many, will feel that peace. Your contentment fills your heart and spills over unto everyone around you. 

Psalm 27:13 says, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

Things can look different and still be so very good. God is near, His goodness surrounds you, and your family is lovingly held in His hands.

Momma, expectations don’t have to steal your joy this holiday season. When we recognize how they shape our emotions and relationships, we can pause, reflect, and invite God to help us adjust. As we become more self-aware, flexible, and surrendered, our home becomes a place of peace, one that our adult children want to return to.

Remember, the heart of the holidays isn’t found in perfect plans or everyone being together, it’s found in the presence of God and the love that flows from Him through you. Whatever this season looks like, it can still be good, because God is good, and He’s right there in the middle of it all.

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, help me release any expectations I carry so they don’t rob me of the joy of celebrating this holiday season. Help me be flexible as we make family plans. Help me honor You and spread love to my family this holiday season. Amen

Still struggling?

The Transitional Grief Journaling Guide is a faith-filled resource designed to help empty nest moms process the deep emotions of letting go. Through six guided reflection questions, you’ll name your feelings, invite God into your grief, and discover His comfort in the middle of change. This gentle companion will remind you that transitional grief is only a season and God is leading you toward peace, purpose, and joy.

Don’t Avoid the Tough Talk: How to Start Holiday Planning Conversations with Adult Kids

Don’t Avoid the Tough Talk: How to Start Holiday Planning Conversations with Adult Kids

As soon as November rolls around, the countdown to the holidays begins, and so does the pressure. Moms everywhere start asking the same questions: What will Thanksgiving look like this year? Will we all be together for Christmas? How do I honor our traditions without overwhelming my adult kids, or myself?

It’s completely normal to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety as the season approaches. You want to hold onto the warmth and connection of years past, but deep down, you know things are changing. One of the biggest emotional shifts a mom faces is accepting that holidays with adult children won’t look like they did when the kids were little, and that’s okay.

Instead of avoiding the discomfort, be the one to open the conversation. Talking openly about holiday plans can prevent misunderstandings, reduce stress, and even strengthen your relationships. With these six strategies, you’ll learn how to approach the holidays with more clarity, flexibility, and peace. They may look different, but they can still be just as meaningful.

1. Stop Avoiding the Elephant in the Room

The holidays are coming. Everyone knows it, but that doesn’t mean anyone’s talking about it. If you're like most moms, you may find yourself avoiding the conversation with your adult kids, hoping to sidestep disappointment or conflict. Maybe deep down, you already sense they won’t be coming home, and saying it out loud makes it real.

But here’s the truth: the longer you avoid the conversation, the more tension quietly builds. As the mom, you’re still the emotional leader in your family. When you take the courageous step to initiate the dialogue, you create space for honesty, tenderness, and understanding. You’re not being pushy. You’re paving the way for peace.

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Transitional Grief in the Empty Nest: What It Is and How to Cope

Transitional Grief in the Empty Nest: What It Is and How to Cope

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” -Ecclesiastes 3:1

For most Christian moms, the wave of grief that follows launching a child is both unexpected and overwhelming, but it is completely normal. Overnight, the rhythm of daily life changes. The children who once filled the home with laughter, questions, and late-night snack raids are no longer near. Instead, longing creeps in. Moms find themselves wishing for just one more ordinary day of packing lunches, hearing the front door slam, or tripping over backpacks in the hallway.

The silence is deafening. Walking past a child’s empty bedroom can trigger a flood of tears, memories, and a painful awareness that life will never look quite the same. Moms who once felt confident in their role suddenly feel shaky, disoriented, and unsure of their purpose.

This tender ache has a name: transitional grief. It’s the emotional valley between what was and what is still becoming. The good news? It’s a season, not a life sentence. With honesty, healthy coping, and God’s grace, moms can move through this grief and discover new peace and purpose on the other side.

Now let’s unpack transitional grief: what it is, how to identify it, how to cope with it, and why trusting God makes all the difference.

1. What Is Transitional Grief?


Transitional grief is the deep sadness that arises whenever life shifts in a significant way. In the empty nest, it comes when your child leaves home and daily life as you’ve known it changes forever. You may feel torn: proud and excited to see your child step into their future, yet aching at the empty space they leave behind. That tension is normal. It’s not weakness or failure; it’s the natural grief of letting go.

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Boundaries with Adult Children: Phrases and Behaviors to Avoid

Boundaries with Adult Children: Phrases and Behaviors to Avoid

If you’ve ever hesitated to set boundaries with your adult child, you’re not alone. Many moms feel torn, worried they’ll come across as harsh, pushy, or unloving. Others simply don’t know the right words to use, so they stay quiet and hope things will get better on their own.

But here’s the truth: healthy boundaries are not about control, they’re about love. Boundaries create space for respect, clarity, and connection. They require courage, self-awareness, and honest communication. And as Christian moms, we have the comfort of knowing that boundaries are God’s idea.

Jesus modeled them beautifully. He withdrew to rest and pray, said “no” when necessary, and confronted unhealthy behavior with both truth and grace. He showed us that it’s possible to be firm without being unkind and that boundaries can actually strengthen relationships rather than tear them down.

That’s exactly what we long for as moms of grown children: deep connection that isn’t clouded by guilt, frustration, or resentment.

With that in mind, let’s look at six common phrases and behaviors to avoid when setting boundaries with your adult kids, so you can protect your relationship while honoring the Lord.

1. Don’t Speak in Anger


When we feel taken advantage of, resentment can simmer until it finally bubbles over. That’s when we’re tempted to snap, lash out, or say something we’ll regret. But anger rarely builds connection; it usually drives a wedge deeper.

Instead, take your frustration to the Lord first. Pray, journal, or take a walk to process your emotions before you speak. When your heart is calm, you’ll be able to approach your adult child with gentleness and wisdom. That way, the boundary you set won’t be clouded by harsh words but will be rooted in love, truth, and respect.

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Why Setting Boundaries Is One of the Best Gifts You Can Give Your Adult Child

Why Setting Boundaries Is One of the Best Gifts You Can Give Your Adult Child

Many Christian midlife moms silently wrestle with the idea of setting boundaries, especially when it comes to their adult children. We’ve been conditioned to believe that boundaries are harsh, unloving, or even a form of punishment for a child who’s struggling.

Church culture often reinforces the message that a godly woman should always sacrifice, always say yes, and always put her family first, no matter the cost. Over time, this well-meaning belief can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and relationships that feel anything but healthy.

But here’s the truth: the way you love your children needs to mature as they do.

When they were little, love looked like meeting their every need, late-night cuddles, scraped knees, and lunchboxes packed with care. But now that they’re adults, love looks different. It looks like wisdom, respect, and healthy boundaries.

As Christian counselor Leslie Vernick says, “Boundaries aren’t to push people away, but to create the space where love can grow safely.”

Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s not unkind. It may be one of the greatest gifts we can offer our adult child, because boundaries pave the way for respect, growth, and lasting connection. Let’s look at six reasons why setting boundaries is a gift to our adult children.

  1. Boundaries are love with limits:

At their core, boundaries aren’t about control, they’re about clarity and care. They help you recognize where your responsibility ends and your adult child’s begins. Boundaries remind you that while you love deeply, you are not responsible for managing your child’s life, emotions, or outcomes.

Think of a boundary like a fence around your yard, not a wall to keep people out, but a clear marker of where your space begins. There’s a gate, and you get to decide what comes in and what stays out. That gate is guided by wisdom, not guilt. By grace, not fear.

When you set healthy boundaries, you’re not withholding love; you’re offering it in a form that honors both you and your child. You’re saying: "I love you enough to let you grow. I trust you enough to let you take responsibility for your own choices. And I respect myself enough to protect my emotional and spiritual well-being."

That’s not selfish. That’s mature, Christ-centered love.

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What to Do When Your Adult Child Won't Launch

What to Do When Your Adult Child Won't Launch

Launching is a normal and necessary part of life with our young adult children, but what happens when they don’t want to leap into the great big world?

I’m not talking about kids who can’t launch due to health issues or developmental delays. I’m talking about the ones who won’t launch. The ones who seem perfectly content letting you make the decisions, pay the bills, and carry the weight of their adult responsibilities.

Of course, it’s completely appropriate for young adults to return home for a season, between college semesters, job changes, or before getting married. We want our homes to be a safe place for them to land. But that’s not what this is about.

This is about the emotional toll of watching your capable child stay stuck. It’s draining. Confusing. Maybe even a little scary. You might be wondering, Did I do too much? Am I enabling them? Is this codependency?

If you’re wrestling with those questions, you’re not alone. Let’s look at six practical steps you can take when your adult child resists launching, and how you can lovingly shift the dynamic without losing the relationship.

1. Practice Healthy Communication

Open, honest communication is key when your adult child is reluctant to launch. Be clear and direct about your concerns, but also take time to listen, really listen, with curiosity and compassion. Ask thoughtful questions, not to lecture or pressure, but to understand what’s going on in their heart and mind.

At the same time, don’t shy away from sharing your own perspective. Speak with love and humility, expressing how their choices impact you and the household. Keep the conversation two-sided and ongoing. It’s through consistent, respectful dialogue that trust is built and change becomes possible.

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6 

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6 Key Tips to Launching Your Child Well Into Adulthood

6 Key Tips to Launching Your Child Well Into Adulthood

As summer fades and a new season approaches, many moms find themselves standing at the edge of one of the most emotional and transformative milestones of motherhood: launching a child into adulthood. Whether your son or daughter is heading to college, joining the military, starting a job, moving into their own place, or taking a gap year to explore the world, this season requires deep courage, wisdom, and a willingness to let go.

Every launch looks different, but one thing remains the same: your role as mom is shifting. And navigating that shift with grace doesn’t just happen; it takes intentionality. Here are six powerful tips to help you release well, support wisely, and stay grounded in your faith as your child steps into their future.

1. Don’t Make It About You

It’s natural to feel the weight of this transition, after all, it’s a big shift for you, too. But your young adult needs space to focus on their next steps, not your sadness. Resist the urge to express how hard their move is on you. Instead, be fully present and supportive as they step into independence. This is their moment to grow, stretch, and fly, and your steady presence, not your pain, will give them the confidence to move forward.

As Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” When you prioritize your child’s needs over your own fears, you reflect the selfless love of Christ, and that’s a gift they’ll carry into adulthood.

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6 Powerful Ways to Cope When Grandparenting Hurts

6 Powerful Ways to Cope When Grandparenting Hurts

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” -Psalm 73:26

Becoming a grandma is supposed to be one of life’s sweetest joys. But what happens when it brings unexpected sorrow instead?

As moms, we dream of the day our family legacy carries on through the laughter of grandchildren. We imagine snuggles, storytimes, and being part of their everyday lives. But for many of us, that dream hasn’t come to pass the way we hoped, and it hurts deeply.

  • Maybe your adult children have chosen not to have kids.

  •  Maybe there’s distance, emotional or geographical, that keeps you apart.

  •  Maybe you're not allowed to see your grandchildren due to estrangement or strained relationships.

  •  Maybe the family calendar is so packed that there’s rarely time for visits.

  • Or maybe your kids are overwhelmed and anxious about letting their children spend time with you.

Whatever the situation, it leaves you grieving what could have been. And while you can’t control the circumstances, you can turn to the One who sees your heartache and promises to sustain you.

Friend, this is where faith meets reality. God is still near. He’s still working. And He offers you comfort, strength, and peace, even here.

Let’s walk through 6 powerful ways to cope when grandparenting hurts, and invite Jesus into the center of it all.

1. Manage Expectations

Unmet expectations are a fast track to disappointment, especially when it comes to something as tender as grandparenting. You picture how things should look, holiday gatherings, weekend visits, spontaneous snuggles, and when reality doesn’t match the dream, your heart aches.

But friend, you’ve lived long enough to know: expectations can quietly become demands. And when they do, they rob you of peace.

Your grown children were never meant to carry the weight of your happiness. That belongs to the Lord alone. Life can still be rich and full, even when it doesn’t unfold the way you hoped.

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6 Consequences For Not Letting Go and Trusting God with Your Adult Children

6 Consequences For Not Letting Go and Trusting God with Your Adult Children

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:10

No mom wants to be a control freak, yet when we step back and observe our behavior, we often find that we desperately want to influence the outcomes in our adult children's lives. We struggle to remember we need to move from controlling to supporting.

What does it mean to let go? What are the consequences if we don’t?

Mel Robbins, author of the popular new book Let Them, suggests that we’ll experience greater freedom and peace by acknowledging our inability to control others or their actions. It encourages a shift in mindset where we focus on our reactions instead of trying to micromanage people.

For a mom with adult children, this means we will find greater peace when we let them make their own choices while we focus more on our response. We can’t or shouldn’t control their choices because they’re grown now. The only thing we can control is how we respond to their choices.  We give them freedom while we choose to remain at peace. This looks like active listening and empathy rather than correcting or trying to sway opinions.

We hold our grown children loosely, trusting in God.

Thankfully, in our relationship with the Lord, we understand that He is ultimately in control of all things. We can rest knowing that God sees our grown children and loves them, regardless of their actions. He’s familiar with rebellion because we’ve all been there, but our Maker has a way of drawing us near. He brings correction and conviction, but He does it from a heart of love. Isn’t God worthy of being trusted? Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:10 

If a Christian empty nest mom doesn’t let go and trust God with her adult children, it can have deep emotional, relational, and spiritual consequences, not only for her, but for her whole family. 

Here's a breakdown of what can happen:

1. Emotional Burnout and Chronic Anxiety

Holding on too tightly often leads to constant worry over your child’s decisions or faith journeys. You spend your time focused on “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. Sleepless nights become your routine. You experience emotional exhaustion as you bear the weight of their troubles. This is not how it’s supposed to be. Your grown children are responsible for carrying their burdens to God, not to you. You’re invited to give your cares to God. Let Him do the heavy lifting.

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Letting Go of Control: How Christian Moms Can Trust God with Their Adult Kids

 Letting Go of Control: How Christian Moms Can Trust God with Their Adult Kids

“When I am afraid, I will trust in You. “ -Psalm 56:3

Letting go of control and trusting God with our adult children can be one of the hardest things for moms, especially if we’ve spent years nurturing, guiding, and praying for them.

When we’re honest, no mom wants to raise her hand and admit, “Yeah, I’m a complete control freak when it comes to my kids.” We bristle and like to avoid reality, but at our core, many of us struggle with being in charge.

It showed up in our hovering, intervening, and desiring never to see our children struggle or fail. We continually rescued them from their poor choices or trials, and hoped it would improve. 

Now that they’re grown, we struggle with worry and sleepless nights, wondering if they’re doing okay emotionally, relationally, spiritually, financially, and academically. We hope they pick the right mate, land the perfect job, and stroll through life unscathed. 

In her book, It’s All Under Control, Jennifer Dukes Lee said, “You may need to let go of that deluded belief that if you worry about something enough, it will resolve itself.” Goodness, that one hits us in the gut, doesn’t it? Worry is delusion. Nothing good ever comes of worry except that we lose our peace. It doesn’t change anything for our adult child’s life. It simply makes us miserable.

We feel the pull to rescue, advise, and influence their choices, but we are called to trust God.

This season is a beautiful invitation into deeper faith.

 As we release control, we submit to God’s work in our lives and our grown kids' lives. We humble ourselves and lean in as God says, “I’ll take it from here, Momma. Rest in Me. I hold all things together. This was never a burden you were to bear.”

Powerful steps to help you release control and truly trust God:

1. Recognize What’s Yours and What’s God’s

Remind yourself that you’re no longer the manager but a mentor.

Understanding this shift is monumental for a mom with grown children. Resisting this growth stage will hamper your connection with your kids. They will pull away, angered by your controlling habits.

 Your child is now responsible for their own choices. God doesn’t ask you to fix everything; He asks you to entrust them to Him. Your role has shifted, but your prayers are still powerful. God hears your every plea and will settle your heart as you talk to Him.

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From Pressure to Peace: 6 Ways Prayer Helps Christian Moms Stop People-Pleasing and Find Peace

 From Pressure to Peace: 6 Ways Prayer Helps Christian Moms Stop People-Pleasing and Find Peace

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” -Galatians 1:10


People-pleasing feels like a trap that we can’t escape. 

We lose ourselves in trying to make our grown kids happy. We become small. Resentment builds, and then our relationships feel tense. We wonder why we’re tired and discontent. 

Prayer is the way we can step away from pleasing. 

As we commune with God through everyday conversation of talking and listening for His voice, we are infused with His strength.

When we bow low, the Sovereign Lord is allowed to rule and reign in every situation. We exchange our weakness and are infused with power to act differently.

Our perspective shifts when we talk to God, and we desire to please Him more than our family. The Holy Spirit enables us to set boundaries and honor God with our surrendered hearts.

Six Ways Prayer Helps You Stop Pleasing and Find Peace

 1. It Refocuses Your Heart

People-pleasing puts others’ opinions at the center. Prayer puts God at the center. When a mom prays instead of overthinking how to keep everyone happy, she’s reminded that God is ultimately in control, not her.

As you talk to God, you are reminded to focus on eternal perspectives and not get caught up in the earthly pursuit of pleasing others. Your goal is to honor God with your relationships. This looks like boundaries, courage, and learning to stand up for yourself.

"Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth." -Colossians 3:2 

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How People-Pleasing Hurts Your Relationship with Adult Child

Are you a Pleaser?

No girl dreams of growing up as a people pleaser, but many do. 

Christian women are taught to be helpful, serve, and support others. That’s great, but often, a mom gets lost in it all. She feels bitter, cheated, and inauthentic from trying to keep everyone in the family happy.

She put others’ needs before her own. This mom feels spread paper-thin and wonders why resentment constantly simmers under the surface.

There is a high cost of keeping the peace.

Let’s define it. People-pleasing is the desire to be agreeable, not create waves, and bring peace to our families. It seems innocent enough, but often, pleasing is driven by a sense of insecurity. It makes a mom feel needed and valued. She longs for her family’s approval, but she loses herself in the process.

People-pleasing can have a significant impact on moms with adult children, especially in the empty nest season. Here’s how it can play out and why it can be so draining:

1. Loss of Identity

When you are used to finding your worth in being needed, you may struggle when your adult children begin to pull away or assert independence. You often feel abandoned by your children, which creates greater insecurity when you're with them.

 You feel there’s never enough time with them, and you yearn to be near them. Your neediness can affect your connection with your grown kids, who want to be autonomous. When you understand that the goal of motherhood is to surrender your children to build their own lives, you’ll have more peace. God has good things ahead for you in terms of purpose. Diligently pursue God’s will for your life now that your kids are grown.

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Want to Be a Great Mother-In-Law? Stop Doing These 8 Things

Want to Be a Great Mother-In-Law? Stop Doing These 8 Things

Do you have a vision for the kind of mother-in-law you want to be?

 It’s common to see mother-in-laws portrayed as controlling, easily offended, and judgmental. What a heartbreaking perspective. It doesn’t have to be that way.

As a Christian mother-in-law, your role is to be a loving, supportive presence, not a source of tension or control. This requires intentionality and grace towards yourself as you learn this new role.

Here are some key things NOT to do if you want to build a strong, God-honoring relationship with your child’s spouse:

1. Don’t Compete for Your Child’s Loyalty

You are not in competition with your child’s spouse. Once your child is married, their spouse becomes their priority. You are willing to step aside as your child clings to their mate. This is God’s good plan for marriage as laid out in Genesis 2:24, “Leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

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Secrets to Being a Mother-in-Law Who Loves Without Overstepping

Secrets to Being a Mother-in-Law Who Loves Without Overstepping

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh"- Genesis 2:24

Navigating the changing dynamics of family life can be both beautiful and challenging. As your child enters a serious relationship and eventually chooses a spouse, your role as a mom shifts in meaningful ways. It’s a transition filled with opportunities to grow in love, grace, and wisdom.

You set the tone in your relationship with your daughter- or son-in-law from the beginning. Your words, actions, and heart posture toward them can either build a bridge of unity or create walls of distance. This new chapter requires intentionality and humility, but it also holds the potential for deep, lasting relationships that bless generations.

Let’s explore how you can be a positive, loving presence that strengthens your child’s marriage, honors God’s design for families, and ultimately brings you greater peace and joy.

You Set the Tone

You set the tone in your relationship with your daughter- or son-in-law. When your child gets serious about a relationship, you must guard how you respond to their potential mate. One critical or judgmental comment can produce wariness for your child’s future spouse.

Be mindful of your words. Therapist Heather Bjur recommends that you have one hundred percent positive regard for your child’s spouse. If you have a problem with something your child’s mate does, you take it up with God and continue to be a loving presence. You are not responsible for your child’s spouse's behavior, but you are responsible for yourself. Choose wisely, momma.

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Ten Things Not to Say to Your Adult Child

Ten Things Not to Say to Your Adult Child

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person"- Colossians 4:6

Careless Words

Bridgett busied herself in the kitchen as her son, Ian, was home from his senior year in college. He plopped down on the kitchen stool, heavy-hearted and stressed. Bridgett barely noticed her son’s downtrodden appearance. “School sucks, and I don’t think I can finish,” Ian said. 

“Oh, come on, you’ll be fine; it’s just finals stress. Everyone has it; you’ll get through it like I did 25 years ago. Buck up, Buddy, you’ll be fine,” Bridgett commented as she prepped the chicken for dinner.  Ian slouched on the stool, grabbed his backpack and coat, then slinked off to his bedroom. On his way up the stairs, Ian whispered, “Thanks a lot, Mom. Thanks for always making it about you.” 

“Sheesh,” Bridgett thought “That kid is such a baby. When will he ever grow up?”

As moms, we love our adult children deeply, and we want to stay connected with them. But sometimes, the words we say—often with good intentions—can create distance instead of drawing us closer. 

Without even realizing it, we might make them feel guilty, criticized, or like they’ll never quite measure up. If we want to have strong, healthy relationships with our adult kids, we must be mindful of what we say (and how we say it!). 

Here are ten phrases to avoid:

  • You could call me sometime, ya know!

  • Did you go to church this week?

  • You should…!

  • I thought you would have…!

  • I just know how you are.

  • Why can’t you put your phone down?

  • You can’t move away from me!

  • When are you going to get a real job?

  • How much did you spend on that?

  • I can’t drive that far to see you.

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Breaking Down Seven Communication Barriers in Empty Nest Marriage

Breaking Down Seven Communication Barriers in Empty Nest Marriage

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." – Ephesians 4:2

Communication Challenges

It’s not uncommon for empty nest couples to experience barriers to communication.

The barriers were present when the kids were home, but our limitations seem magnified with the buffer of children gone.

According to various studies, a significant majority—around 65% or more—of married couples experience communication difficulties that can impact their relationship, often cited as the primary reason for divorce when not properly addressed.

Does this sound familiar?

  • We fly off the handle instead of being patient.

  • We sulk and give the “cold treatment” in hopes things will get better, but they never do.

  • We don’t know how to listen well or refuse to validate our spouse’s emotions, causing our husband to shut down and retreat.

  • We feel abandoned by our mate.

We long to feel connected, yet we don’t. Every time we try to have a conversation, it fizzles out or ends in conflict, leaving us feeling more isolated than before.

What is God’s perspective on our empty nest communication skills?

When Paul was writing to the church in Ephesus, I think he had married couples in mind. He knew of our propensity to think we’re right and demand something of our spouses. Instead, we’re welcomed to approach our mate with a submitted heart and a willingness to learn and grow:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

As we identify the barriers to communication, we don’t point fingers. Instead, we choose humility and respond with a gentle reply, knowing we all need to grow and improve. Rather than feeling frustrated with our mate, we remember our covenant of love.

Communication isn’t the only necessary element in a healthy marriage. You also need respect, love, commitment, a desire to connect, and fun. When you build on this foundation, you’ll be better equipped to adjust how you talk to each other. Identifying communication barriers can help you overcome obstacles in your relationship.

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Letting Go of Doubt: How Christian Moms Thrive in Empty Nest Purpose

letting go of doubt: how christian moms thrive in empty nest purpose

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”- Mark 9:24

A Mind Full of Doubts

Nancy stood at the window as doubts rumbled in her mind. Her kids were moving on, and she needed to find a fresh purpose. “I’m a good listener. I’m intuitive and understand human behavior. I love helping people, but I don’t know if I can do it now,” she thought.

She had dreams of being a counselor, but the Accuser worked diligently to fill her mind with doubts. “You're too old” and “It’ll be too hard.” were his continual comments. 

“How do people just start over? What if I fail? What if I’m not good at it?” she wondered. The questions were on repeat, but she couldn’t deny she felt the Lord prompting her to enroll in college classes. 

Nancy’s husband encouraged her and her Bible study friends prayed through it with her. She and her girlfriend walked and talked about the new possibilities every day, and yet she stood at a crossroad.  Would she let her doubts win or would she walk by faith and step into a fresh season with renewed purpose?

What’s Next?

Most moms will stand on the edge of the empty nest, wondering what they will do next. We feel empty and purposeless, floundering through our days.

But what if this is the season of great opportunity?

Does God have a new job, ministry, business, or lifelong dream that He’s calling you to step into?

We start pondering our purpose as our children leave our homes. 

For decades our lives were firmly planted in motherhood. We thrived and grew as we parented. We understood the assignment and the expectations.  

Now we’re flooded with doubts. Fears mount as possibilities are presented.

We’re suddenly overwhelmed and suffer with a significant crisis of faith as we scurry to make sense of our future. We’re not unlike that middle school version of ourselves, plagued by uncertainty and “what will others think” arguments. 

Surely on the other side of our doubts we find God’s gentle nudges which lead us to our next purpose.

Motherhood is glorious, but it’s one role our Lord had for you. He’s not done yet. 

God has made provision for every apprehension, state of confusion, or reluctance. On the backside of doubt is His gracious purpose for you.

Take heart, momma. God is most tender with you in this season of life. He does not condemn or chide. He takes your hand and says, “Follow me. I will show you exactly what to do.”

Unbelief

The story in Mark speaks of a father who’s exasperated with his son’s sickness. He finally brings him to Jesus. Jesus, with a heart of compassion, tells the father he only has to believe and his son will be healed. The father replied with the most honest statement. “I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief.” Mark 9:24

Help me overcome my unbelief or doubt has been the cry of the human condition for generations. Thankfully there are practical steps to releasing your reluctance. 

Let’s look at four ways to let go of doubt.

1. Acknowledging doubt is normal.

Before you can let something go, you must first acknowledge it. Instead of denying or justifying your doubt, name it. Bring it out in the presence of Jesus and say, “I’m scared.” 

It is normal to doubt when you’re on the edge of an unfamiliar season of life, like stepping into the empty nest. Please do not feel ashamed or less than because of your doubt. View it as an opportunity to talk to Jesus about it. You will be met with immense compassion and empathy. Thankfully, Jesus never lets us stay stuck there.

2. Counter the doubt with faith.

When you experience doubt you need to wrestle with God, until He strengthens your faith. You could give up and not receive all the good God has for you, or you could get down on the mat and fight for your bright future. 

Search the scriptures to find nuggets of truth about God’s guidance and provision for you. Your faith will only grow when you step over your doubts and crush them to the ground. That’s where real faith flourishes. Allow the scriptures to strengthen your soul so you can move past the apprehension you feel.

3. Move forward in spite of fear.

If you’re waiting to have no fear, I’m afraid, you’ll be waiting a long time. Only in heaven will you be completely fearless. On this side of heaven you need to learn to move forward in spite of your reluctance. 

Fear doesn’t magically go away. You must learn to manage it. You’re the boss of it, as God leads. It’s helpful to adopt a mindset that says, “Even though I’m afraid, I trust God to lead me to His best plans for my new purpose.  As you move forward, fear is diminished and confidence in God rises. One day it will be laughable how comfortable you feel in your fresh purpose.

4. Be willing to feel uncomfortable.

Ease is the fodder of those who remain purposeless. Instead of pursuing comfort, be willing to be stretched. Allow doubt to be an opportunity for your growth.

Seek God as you move through the uncomfortable and allow Him to reveal His will. Pray and seek God’s heart for His purpose in this season of life. Let God guide every step and trust His heart. Eventually, you’ll feel comfortable in what He’s called you to do. That’s how good He is. 

It’s not uncommon for moms to be plagued with doubts once our children are grown. It makes sense because our lives were focused on motherhood. But with every crisis of faith, we can trust God’s hand. When we face the future with courage and reliance on God we can be confident He will lead us to our fresh purposes. 

Let’s pray.        

Dear Papa, thank you for helping me with my unbelief. Help me make it through this crisis of faith so I can step into the good plans you have prepared for me. Fill me with courage and strength to pursue what you are leading me to do. I trust you even when I’m afraid. Amen.


Still struggling?

Grab my free guide, Your Kids Are Grown….Now What? It’s a robust guide to help you understand the three different phases of midlife motherhood. You’ll move from the Empty-Feeling Mom, the Questioning Mom, and the Celebratory Mom. The guide will help you see what to expect next. 

Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it. 

Holiday Grace: Navigating Family Gatherings with an Adult Child Who Rejects Christianity

Holiday Grace: Navigating Family Gatherings with an Adult Child Who Rejects Christianity

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”.- Isaiah 40:31


Holiday Tension

It felt like a rubber band was stretched across her chest as Julia scraped the dinner plates and loaded the dishwasher. Her daughter Maddie would be returning home for her break from university. Fear rushed in as Julia thought about their last difficult interaction. 

Julia was aloof and tense that weekend. She just didn’t seem like herself. Julia sensed something was going on but she couldn’t get Maddie to talk.  She woke Maddie up Sunday morning and said, “It’s time for church, Babe.”  “I’m not going.” Julia barked. Aghast, she yelled back. “What do you mean you’re not going? As long as you live in this house, you’ll go to church with your dad and I.”  “You can’t make me,” she hollered. 

 Julia quietly closed the bedroom door and slumped away to her bedroom to cry. “Where did I go wrong, Lord? she wailed, as tears stained her pillow. “She’s so far from you and I feel like an utter failure. Please help me.” she prayed. 

Reflecting over the weekend, Julia noticed every time she reached out to connect with Maddie, it felt like her walls were up. “Maybe she sensed my judgment?” she wondered. “Maybe I was unnecessarily harsh?” she thought. Just thinking about spending time with her daughter over the holidays stressed her out. “Lord, there’s got to be a better way. Please help me,” she prayed, as she wiped off the counters.

Does Julia’s story ring true for you? Do you identify with the heartache, pressure, and shame a mom carries when her grown child rejects her faith? 

Are you flooded with questions:

  • Why God?

  • Where did I go wrong?

  • What will others think of me?

  • What if they experience complete separation from God?

  • How can we get along when we disagree?

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