How to Be a Supportive (Not Smothering) Grandma

/
How to Be a Supportive (Not Smothering) Grandma

I’ll never forget the night I babysat newborn Wren so her parents, my daughter Keziah and her husband Forrest, could sneak away for a quiet dinner. Before they left, Keziah nursed her, and I gently swaddled that sweet baby and laid her on her side in the cozy Moses basket beside me on the couch. I couldn’t take my eyes off her tiny pug nose, that silky dark hair; she looked so much like her momma.

I snapped a picture and sent it to Keziah to ease any first-time-mom worries. She texted back, “Oh, she’s sleeping. She’s so sweet. Mom, could you please place her on her back? That’s how we want her to sleep.”

For a moment, her words stung. A wave of shame rolled in. Had I done something wrong? But right then, I had a choice: I could take offense, or I could support her. I had already decided in my heart that I wasn’t here to parent, I was here to encourage and uplift.

It’s a moment every grandma faces: Will we hold onto our way, or will we honor the new rhythm our adult children are creating?

Being a grandma is one of the sweetest roles you’ll ever hold. And as Christian grandmothers, our calling is not only to love and enjoy our grandkids, but to support our children with grace, respect their boundaries, and keep pointing our families to Jesus.

Here’s how to walk that line with wisdom, faith, and a whole lot of love.

1. Start with Humility and Prayer

One of the most powerful ways you can love your grandchild is by praying for them, even before they’re born. From the first flutter of news about a pregnancy to every milestone ahead, you have the privilege of standing in the gap for them through prayer. What a grace to cover their life in intercession from the very beginning.

But just as important as prayer is the posture you take with your adult children. Grandparenting starts with humility.

It means resisting the urge to fix, correct, or compare their parenting choices to your own. It means trusting that God is working in their lives, too. Humility says, “I’m here to support, not to steer.” You don’t have to agree with every decision to show honor.

Even when their methods differ from how you raised your own children, humility allows you to step back with grace and trust God to lead them.

“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” -1 Peter 5:5 

Humility and prayer are the foundation for being a supportive grandma because they shift the focus from control to love, from correction to intercession.

Read More

Want to Be a Great Mother-In-Law? Stop Doing These 8 Things

/
Want to Be a Great Mother-In-Law? Stop Doing These 8 Things

Do you have a vision for the kind of mother-in-law you want to be?

 It’s common to see mother-in-laws portrayed as controlling, easily offended, and judgmental. What a heartbreaking perspective. It doesn’t have to be that way.

As a Christian mother-in-law, your role is to be a loving, supportive presence, not a source of tension or control. This requires intentionality and grace towards yourself as you learn this new role.

Here are some key things NOT to do if you want to build a strong, God-honoring relationship with your child’s spouse:

1. Don’t Compete for Your Child’s Loyalty

You are not in competition with your child’s spouse. Once your child is married, their spouse becomes their priority. You are willing to step aside as your child clings to their mate. This is God’s good plan for marriage as laid out in Genesis 2:24, “Leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Read More

Secrets to Being a Mother-in-Law Who Loves Without Overstepping

/
Secrets to Being a Mother-in-Law Who Loves Without Overstepping

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh"- Genesis 2:24

Navigating the changing dynamics of family life can be both beautiful and challenging. As your child enters a serious relationship and eventually chooses a spouse, your role as a mom shifts in meaningful ways. It’s a transition filled with opportunities to grow in love, grace, and wisdom.

You set the tone in your relationship with your daughter- or son-in-law from the beginning. Your words, actions, and heart posture toward them can either build a bridge of unity or create walls of distance. This new chapter requires intentionality and humility, but it also holds the potential for deep, lasting relationships that bless generations.

Let’s explore how you can be a positive, loving presence that strengthens your child’s marriage, honors God’s design for families, and ultimately brings you greater peace and joy.

You Set the Tone

You set the tone in your relationship with your daughter- or son-in-law. When your child gets serious about a relationship, you must guard how you respond to their potential mate. One critical or judgmental comment can produce wariness for your child’s future spouse.

Be mindful of your words. Therapist Heather Bjur recommends that you have one hundred percent positive regard for your child’s spouse. If you have a problem with something your child’s mate does, you take it up with God and continue to be a loving presence. You are not responsible for your child’s spouse's behavior, but you are responsible for yourself. Choose wisely, momma.

Read More